All semester, I have had trouble with one of my sections being disengaged, every friggin’ day. I have tried every pedagogical tactic Dr. Karen Anderson-Lain has taught us (pair and share, small group work, cold-calling, warm-calling, strictly lecturing them, threatening their grades, offering moral support, activities out the wazoo, ending class early if they participated...the list goes on). However, nothing has worked. Everyday after I teach that specific section, I am exhausted and completely overworked from exerting so much love into 30 people that wouldn’t reciprocate anything back.
I had a fellow TA come and sit in on my class just for fun and to help me assess what was going on with my classroom. Her class that she normally teaches was cancelled so we thought it would be a cool opportunity to compare and contrast our teaching styles. Long story short, our fellow TA was appalled by the behavior my students. In fact, she said their behavior was horrible. They were silent, completely “zombied-out”, and not engaged whatsoever. She assured me it was undeniable that my students liked and respected me, they had no interest in anything I was trying to teach them. Nonetheless, I was still deeply offended and hurt. More so, I was salty as heck that I cared this much about my students.
Do y’all remember during orientation week when we took the read the Top 5 Strengths Finder by Don Clifton and took the extensive quiz that told us what our 5 strengths were? To refresh your memory, there are 4 possible domain strengths you can get which include executing, influencing, relationship building, and strategic thinking. Normally, people end up with a few or even a couple different domain strengths. Well, I vividly remember getting the results and actually laughing at how accurate they were:
- Positivity
- Woo (Winning Others Over)
- Adaptability
- Empathy
- Communication
All 5, are relationship building strengths. All 5 y’all. Yikes. No wonder I’ve been crying over my students’ acceptance all semester long. However, I couldn’t help but to be reminded of a quote I highlighted in our dear ol’ bell hook’s text. She says, “Profound commitment to engaged pedagogy is taxing to the spirit.” This statement made me realize that caring for your students is a part of teaching and sometimes it’s going to hurt. Although I may want to retreat from caring for my students because it’s less painful than letting them pull at the strings of my heart, it is not natural for me and I should not force myself to act anything but my authentic self..right, Palmer?
Passion is what drives us to do great things in life. In sports, passion is the fuel in which ignites players to unite, overcome their fears, and achieve their goals. Teaching with care for our students is an aspect of education that we should view as a top priority in order for our students to achieve their dreams...even if we have to smother them with love at times.
#Pedagoalie
Chelsea,
ReplyDeleteYou have posted and continue to post really great blogs that I feel could apply to just about any pedagogical member - not just us TA's.
Four of my 5 Clifton Top 5 Traits are relationship building, so I definitely share the strong need for my students to not only be successful, but FEEL successful. Your statement, "Although I may want to retreat from caring for my students because it’s less painful than letting them pull at the strings of my heart, it is not natural for me and I should not force myself to act anything but my authentic self..right, Palmer?" resonates with me. The relationship-builder in me will not let me stop caring about my students.
I view our relationship-building style as a weapon and a curse. Your students are so lucky to have an instructor that cares so much about them. Most everyone has experienced a class with an instructor that was the opposite of you - and I bet a large percentage hated it. You are THE #Pedagoalie.
#dontpanic #keeponkeepinon
<3 Rudi
Chels,
ReplyDeleteYou beautiful tropical fish (parks and rec reference), You are such an amazing person and your students do not deserve you. I definitely understand the exhausting and disheartening feeling of an unengaged class. You share one of your greatest passions and watch them stare back at you with blank expressions (or more often at their phones with blank expressions). I am of the opinion it is absolutely okay, and even sometimes necessary to emotionally detach from your students a little. I still care about them, but I do not let myself get disappointed when they simply do not care about my chosen field of study. I know it's difficult to pull away, but sometimes we need to for our sanity.
Chelsea,
ReplyDeleteEverything you write is gold. Seriously. Although I can't relate to your strengths, I can tell you that we are similar in the compassion and caring we have for our students.
I think Brenden said it best when he said that if you reach one person in your classroom, then you have done your job. The fact that you even have passion for your students says a lot and Palmer would say that you are doing a fantastic job- because you are! It's okay to care, but don't take your student's disengagement as a reflection of your work. I am 100% sure that you are reaching at least one!
You are a great educator and friend! In the great words of Jayme Carrico, your students do not deserve you!
#pedamorgie #stayinurlain