Wednesday, November 23, 2016

From Good Girls to Smart Women

I am (or maybe was) one of the good girls in classroom. Only speaking when I knew the correct answer, working hard, always being nice, quiet, never hurting anyone’s feeling, feeding on affirmation, and good grades. However, I have never cried to a teacher or professor over a bad grade or hurtful comment. Now, in my car or at home after class is a totally different story. More than a few times I have balled my eyes out over a bad grade or botched presentation. These instances always pushed me to work harder, to do better work to impress my professor or at the very least save face. As a good girl who is now an instructor, I am sensitive to the good girls in my classroom. I feel my mothering instincts come into play every time one of the good girls in my classroom raises their hand and especially after the answer given is wrong or botch presentation is given.  I cradle their egos. I help them through the speech with smiles and nodding. I also let them down gently but never actually tell them their answer was wrong. Now I never thought I was hurting them more than helping them. I was giving these good girls what I found in very few classrooms. Lots of affirmation and sympathy.

After reading Bell and Golombisky's article, I now think I am hurting my good girls way more than helping. By side stepping every wrong answer to save face for my good girls. I am keeping them from learning to find their voice. Keeping them from learning it’s okay to say the wrong answer because the classroom is where we correct those answers. I was too worried about upsetting my good girls and not worried enough about helping them become smart women.

In the future, I plan to push my good girls a little more and include more affirmation phrases in class discussions. I hope to help them realize the amazing voices they have and that it is not all about the grades but it is about what you learn. Hopeful starting them on a path away from learned helplessness and the feeling that crying to superiors will help them get their way.  Ultimately, turning the good girls in my classroom into smart women. Just as all those professors who were “hard on me” or “must not have liked me” pushed me onto the path of becoming a smart woman.

#thefeels 

2 comments:

  1. Jordan! In some ways, I believe that I have been (or am) a "good girl" student myself. With that being said, I was able to relate to all of it on an extremely personal level! Crying at home over a grade...been there, done that. As a teacher though, I never even thought of how I catered to the "good girls" in my classroom, but you are absolutely right, the teachers that pushed me and took me out of my comfort zone, taught me more than how to make a good grade. Good girls to smart women - I love that :)

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  2. I think affirmation phrases are a great way to empower the women in your classroom and avoids a lot of the side stepping arguments you made above. I agree that if you can convince students that grades don't matter and that their primary concern should be to learn the content through their assignments, a much deeper level of comprehension can occur. Extrinsic incentives, like grades, have proven time and time again to be insufficient motivators in the classroom. I think framing an education in this way can help change some of the 'good girls' in the class, to the smart women you talked about!

    Keep up the great world in the classroom!

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