To my 2020 students

Today was my last day teaching my 2020 recitation class and I can't believe everything is coming to a near end. Although I'm sad that I won't be teaching my 2020 classes, I still have my 1010 class which I'm going to make the most of it. I can't predict how the class is going to end but I hope that all my students took something away from the course and that I was able to make it fun and enjoyable.

So far I've gotten great feedback from my other students as well as some improvements I can do for the future. To be honest, I almost had tears of joy when my students were giving their goodbyes to me. They were telling me their best moments, what they enjoyed most about recitation, and gave me a hug. As they were walking out of the classroom, I had a flashback of my first day when I walked in, all nervous wondering if the were going to take me seriously. Week after week, we were all able to engage and have deep discussions of the content. From laughter, to giving each other advice, to disagreements, and to awkward silences, the classroom dynamic was incredible everyone felt safe and comfortable to disclose about themselves. I've got to learn so much about them during class and in their papers they wrote. I tried my best to be there for them and help as much as I could. I've also got to thank them for the time I wasn't "all there" but they were able to cheer me up.

My students gave me confidence and there wasn't a day that I didn't look forward to teach. One thing I've learned about both of my recitation classes was that you never know what is going to happen, or what is going to come out of their mouth. I hope they finish off the semester great not only in 2020 but in their other classes. For now I'm going to cherish my time in 1010, since our days are numbered. To my 2020 students thank you for letting me be part of your lives even if it was only in the classroom. I wish you all the best!

#WhatAmIDoing #Interpersonal #TeachingAssistant

Put Some Respeck on My Name

I am sporadic, hyper, funny, and caring. These are just a few characteristics of who I am but they are the ones I bring into the classroom. Dannels (2015) argues that teachers should infuse who they are into their teachings. I think I do a thorough job of expressing who I am in my classroom. I joke (appropriately) around with my students, I walk into every classroom with a positive, quirky approach, and I ask my student how they are doing outside of my classroom (because I'm genuinely interested). I am my normal, goofy self in the classroom and I still have the ultimate control over my classroom. For the most part, my students do listen to me and follow my directions but there's always an outlier...

If I am my authentic self in the classroom and I have the ultimate "say-so" in the classroom then why do I always have one student who questions my authority or mocks me? I honestly feel disrespected in my classroom sometimes. Sometimes when I try to be goofy or say something silly, the majority of my classroom laughs but then one student (same one every time) mocks me. He will repeat what I say in a mimicking tone and roll his eyes. At first I didn't think too much of it because I thought that might of been his way of trying to feel included or joking but it continued. The nerve of these kids...

The problem persisted and in turn, I tried to be self-reflexive. Am I doing something to upset this student? Is there something wrong with my personality? What in the world am I doing wrong? My other students did not feed off of his behavior and when he would "strike" they sat in an awkward silence waiting for my response. I ignored it until I just got tired of it.

"Why do you insist on mocking me all the time?" I broke. I had to ask. He was baffled and responded with something along the lines of that he himself did not feel respected. My heart broke. I didn't understand why he felt that way and in fact, I specifically tried to create an environment where my students DID NOT feel that way. Perhaps I joked too much with this particular student. I apologized and told him I never intended for him to feel that way and that I appreciate him telling me what was up. I just wanted to be respected, and he did too.

Dannels (2015) says that "because teaching and learning are human activities, about the only thing you can predict with certainty is unpredictability". The fact that I called out my student was unpredictable and the fact that my student told me he felt disrespected was definitely unpredictable. It was an important lesson for both of us. As teachers, we should all embrace unpredictability as certainty and listen (not just hear) our students.

I just hope next time my student says my name...he puts some Respeck on it. Don't worry, I will for him too.
#pedamorgy #stayinurlain

It Pays to Talk

One of my biggest challenges this semester has been finding ways in which I can engage all of my students in the classroom. In one of my sections, there are about 4 people that help lead discussions and provide their input when I ask the class a question.

• The individual that speaks the most frequent is a non-traditional student who owns 3 businesses. He is a white male. His work is excellent and he tends to make conversation with me the moment I walk into the classroom. 
• My second student, who I have mentioned a few times in the blog posts before, is a young, black female. While she adds to the discussion frequently, she usually gives me extremely honest answers and is not afraid to let me know when she does not care about the material. 
• My third student is a young, white female. She turns in her homework the day it is assigned, has never missed a class period, and gives me incredible nonverbal listening skills. While she is extremely quiet, she will speak up if she knows that I want more student participation.
• My fourth student that helps lead discussion is a young, black female who sits in the very back of the class. She spends most of the class period on her computer, but I have noticed that she will speak up every now and then, especially when discussing about politics. She is very inconsistent with her work, but when she does turn her work in, it is above and beyond what is required.

While I appreciate their enthusiasm, it tends to limit the opportunities for others to speak in the classroom.

Elizabeth Bell and Kim Golombisky discussed a tactic in which teachers can welcome all voices and encourage them to become more active in participating in discussions. "If a few individuals continue to dominate some classes, we may have "pay to talk" days. Distributing three pennies to each student at the beginning of class, we announce, 'To talk in class today you must pay a penny, and you must spend all your pennies. So think about what your comment is worth in the culture of this classroom.' Our most vocal students have to weigh their contributions carefully when limited to three chances to speak."

Although the semester is nearly over, this is an activity I plan to implement in my classroom if the problem arises again. It is so important to as a teacher to make sure they are doing everything they can to help cultivate a classroom in which all voices are heard and appreciated. This teaching philosophy reminds me of a specific drill we use to do during soccer practice. If one of our teammates was scoring most of the goals during practice or handling the ball (even if they were successful) we were required to pass to other people in order to score the goal. This not only created more opportunities for others to participate in scoring a goal, it also helped build stronger trust within the team and allowed individuals to be spotlighted for their achievements.

#Pedagoalie

Pop Culture

Well everyone, 

It appears I inadvertently posted my wrap up post prior to publishing my "official" second blog post for November. I've been texting my partner all day, and when describing the situation of my mistake to him, I sent a gif to help encapsulate my emotions. Not just any gif, but a meme that reinforces Whiteness. I'll post it below. 

Now I know, I know, my role of girlfriend in a private text conversation is very different from my role of teacher in the classroom, as they should be. However, as Freire says, dialogue is a key to creating change and hopefully avoiding hooks' White Supremacist Capitalist Patriarchy. I should not just aim to oppose Whiteness in my classroom, but in my every day life encounters as well. 

Aiming to open our students eyes to the systematic oppression surrounding them and breaking the cycle of abject scripts and Whiteness is absolutely important. Palmer, however, says that our virtues and morals need to align in order to have an effective pedagogy. It is important to not just be an advocate in front of our students, but also in our everyday personal lives. 

Although choosing a gif for a private text conversation is in a different world than choosing pop culture examples in the classroom, in order to help negate Whiteness and WSCP we as pedagogs should aim to implement these tactics in our every day life as well as our pedagogy. 

Trust between students

A couple of weeks ago when I was reading for Consulting I came across a chapter called Teacher as Consultant. This sparked my interest since I didn't think teachers as consultants and I was curious as to how Block was going to approach the subject. 

Block is talking about a high school teacher named Mr. Ward who decided to change his classroom setting by using consulting methods. The concept that caught my attention was consultant building trust. Block talks about the students having trust with one another and how we the teachers act as a third party in a "discovery mode." That we are not the experts but are there to help them build trust. For example, Mr. Ward had a student that was hurt by negative comment that was made about them in class. He then asked for permission to use as a learning experience. This lead Mr. Ward to have a discussion in class where the student express how they felt about the comments without having any disruptions, then he gave the opportunity for everyone else to speak. This allowed for the classroom culture to be re-humanized since they were able to express themselves freely and just listened to one another.

This got me thinking on how it is easy for a student to disengaged in the classroom due to their peers. We are constantly talking about respecting others thoughts and opinions in the classroom, but one thing I have trouble with is knowing when comment is affecting the student or are they joking with each other. Sure there's nonverbal cues but sometimes it can be difficult because I don't want to draw too much attention and making things worse. Moreover, if I'm comfortable enough to hold a conversation about it with the whole class. I guess this would depend on the environment I have in my classroom. I know that if it were to happen in my 1010 I would feel insecure of dealing with the problem just because there are times where the whole class discloses and others where they just stay quiet with a blank face. Although I do agree that we are the third party when it comes to our students and I trust my students with them being sincere and honest with one another, even though I think they don't feel the same with one another. I hope in that in the future I am able to build trust among my students where they feel safe enough to express themselves and have deep discussion in class. Lastly, I believe that it is up to us to do our best to let our students have the opportunity to grow and learn along the way. 

#WhatAmIDoing #FawlessConsulting #Block 

Community

My grandmother passed away November 14th at 9 pm. She was 85 years old. She was not in great shape those last few months. She could hardly eat or speak, and she was in a lot of pain. After endless late nights and early mornings visiting her at the hospital, the doctors finally told my family there was nothing more they could do. We brought her home and put her on hospice. The night she died I went to class and then went straight to her house after. My whole family was there. My mom met me at the door, hugged me, and said, "grandma's gone." I had been with the family all day that day up at her house, so I got to say goodbye to her. Both of my grandfathers died last year. My dad's mother is my only remaining grandparent. The added stress of her decline and death has certainly been a strain this semester. I think it was affecting me a little more than I realized (like crying uncontrollably in class because I was frustrated with my students, oops).

Several pedagogical scholars (Dewey, Palmer, Freire, hooks) discuss communities in the classroom. These scholars typically refer to teachers fostering learning communities within the classroom. However, working communities are also important. I am incredibly fortunate to a part of a great community of wonderful people. These past few weeks my professors and colleagues have been so supportive. From statements of support to putting together a care package, all of you have helped me get through this situation. Not just in these past few weeks, but through this entire difficult and stressful process. 

Thank you all for everything,

Jayme

All Good Things Must Come To An End - Official Wrap Up Post

Then end of November is near, meaning so is the end of the semester. Final assignments in graduate classes are due, grades need to be finalized, and holiday vibes are in full swing.

WARNING: LONG (hopefully useful) POST AHEAD

I have loved getting to read everyone's blog posts and responses throughout the semester. The diverse perspective you all bring to the table, in addition to the readings and Karen's role in class, I can honestly say have created been an eye-opening and inspiring experience in pedagogy for me. As the semester comes to a close, I'd like to touch on a few tactics I plan to implement (or continue implementing) in my pedagogy endeavors, as learned throughout this semester, as well as give some reassuring closing remarks.

Things I plan to implement (or continue implementing):

1. Having students, in some way, submit pop culture examples relevant to course materials (as suggested by McCauliff & Denker). 
2. Let my authenticity flow into the classroom more (Palmer).
3. Stay consistent (Dannels)!
4. Make detailed To-Do lists.

My goal with #1 on the implementation list is to avoid what hooks calls the White Supremacist Capitalist Patriarchy - I want to avoid "whitewashing" my classroom as much as possible, and create a diverse learning experience with relevant examples for all of my students. I hope to gain a lot from implementing this tactic in my classroom - after all, I want to learn WITH my students. This will also be the push I need to really start facilitating more class discussions favored around interests of the students, thus avoiding and encouraging everything AGAINST Freire's Banking Model. 

Goal #2 is based on Palmer's idea of heartwork, and the idea that identity & integrity + re-memberment = authenticity. My first semester teaching was the semester I most heavily tried to put on a "teacher persona". Realizing quickly that not only is it uncomfortable for me, but not benefiting my students, I began working on feeling confident enough to let the real Rudi shine in the classes I teach. Perhaps it was my Impostor Syndrome causing me to feel I needed the persona to seem credible or just a general case of the nerves, I worked hard this second semester to more closely pinpoint my identity and integrity, engaged in re-memberment, and will continue to reach full authenticity in my classrooms for ultimate teacher/student success.

Goal #3 is based on a piece of advice given to teachers in the Dannels text during orientation and Week 1 in our pedagogy course - BE CONSISTENT. I had a bit of a problem staying consistent with my students my first semester of teaching: when grades would be posted, slides available on BlackBoard, remembering questions students asked, etc. When matters of inconsistency occurred, it was a burden for both my students and myself. My second semester teaching I really focused on being consistent for my students because I recognized consistency as an area I needed improvement in. My second semester I set tasks for myself to ensure I stay consistent, and I plan to continue to utilize and build on these tasks, such as always posting my lecture slides the Sunday before I teach and enabling the slides to not be visible to students until 12pm the day of class. In addition, I also have an app that links to my laptop, Google Home, and cell phone to make lists of questions or concerns to make sure I remember what needs to be done. 

Finally, goal #4, though not relevant to the materials we've covered thus far in the course, is one I feel is important to my success personally. I realized, through many years of trial and error, I am most productive when I make a weekly to-do list and an extensive daily to-do list. For these lists to work for me, I have to be very specific and list out every tiny task to keep me feeling accomplished, and thus keeping me motivated. For example, instead of writing "grade journal 9 - COMM 2140", I must separate the task by sections: "grade journal 9 - COMM 2140.202...grade journal 9 - COMM 2140.203".

Those of you who have made it this far and are still reading, thank you. I promise I am almost done typing an novel for this last blog post, but I would first like to leave some closing remarks.

First and foremost, remember becoming a great pedagogical figure is a process. We are all constantly learning and improving ourselves and our methods. As Emily says, #KeepOnKeepinOn and make goals to achieve, following Chelsea's message of being a #pedaGOALIE. Keep working to #reengage students and adjusting your pedagogy to the needs of your students, without allowing brain-dead pedagogy in the classroom. #ThoseWhoCan SHOULD continue working towards new pedagogical goals, and more importantly...

#dontpanic