For this last (last, last, last-minute) post, I want to think about rethinking status in our very own graduate program. When I think about status in the UNT Comm Grad Program I do not say "Ah, what a microcosm of our world," because, for obvious reasons, it is not. Few small communities are genuinely the microcosm that conventional wisdom tells us they must be. Instead, they are a specific amalgamation of community members who are brought together for some purpose. Maybe that purpose is spatial, maybe that purpose is hobbyist, and maybe that purpose is academic (and therefore sort of a combination, eh?).
Either way, a community is often shaped by a set of histories or myths that help to mediate the cultural norms that are prominent in that community. Those myths and histories are often hard to trace back to an individual, but they do a great deal to shape what is expected of the individuals who take part in that community. Here's a few norms/myths that I've noticed in our community:
- You will be tired
- You will be stressed out
- You will have to work very hard
- Your students will make your crazy
- Your mental and physical health will be impacted
- A graduate degree in this program will enhance your critical thinking skills
- A graduate degree in this program is worthwhile
- Completing a graduate degree in this program will force you to make sacrifices
For the most part, I can agree with these myths: I think that, like most myths, there's truth to them. In most cases, I agree with them wholeheartedly. However, some of the ways that the truth to these myths seems to be enacted ends up being somewhat...problematic. I've experienced an abundance of students who are so wrapped up in the perceived truth of these statements that they become their whole life.
(The following are examples and please, please, please, do not take them as me trying to call someone out - they came out of my brain)
"Ohmygod I think I've only had coffee and a cheese stick to eat today."
"I swear, I've only slept an average of 3 hours each night this week."
"I was in the space until 3am last night. And the night before...and the night before."
"I think grad school might kill me, I'm just so miserable."
"I just figure I'll be miserable for the next year and a half, ya know?"
These are, by my account, harmful!! Not only does the continued verbalization of these things normalize them for you, they normalize them for others. Further, several of these statements seem to operate as a currency in our environment. Folks are making the statement about how little they slept not as an admission of guilt about not taking care of their bodies, but as a way to demonstrate how much they care, or how much they match the mythology of the program.
This, in turn, has the capacity to become a status marker. Because X has demonstrated that they are willing to take the worst care of their physical and mental health, they have demonstrated that they are the most invested in this program, and thus deserve praise and admiration. Or, X's commitment to the program in the face of their mental and physical health serves as an example of what is appropriate behavior to "fit in."
These are oversimplifications of the thought processes in peoples heads, but I think that they're uncomfortably close to the truth, and they make me worried. Why do we take for granted and perpetuate the kind of stress and lack of sleep and nutritional deprivation that is normalized for us as graduate students? I understand that part of it is due to a legitimate lack of financial means to support one's well-being, but I think that it goes much deeper than that.
I don't have the answers for this one, and I honestly don't feel like I'm engaged enough with the culture of the program to really understand it. How do you all feel? Do you feel like you're being pushed to a state of exhaustion as the norm? If so, how do we work to change that standard?
No comments:
Post a Comment