Like many of us, I drive to school. The difference is that between school and
home, I roll up between 400 and 500 miles a week on The Bunny (that’s my car’s
name). I said “roll up” because I have
an old timey sense of cars and still think they have rolling odometers.
This unholy FUCK of a drive costs me from 10 to 12 hours a
week. 10 to 12 hours a week that
I can’t spend reading, writing, or prepping.
When y’all think you’re tired, I am more
tired. Nothing could be more worth it
than my education; my “way up”.
The Bunny’s a quick little beast, too. Close to me, protective, loyal, trustworthy. I have cried more tears and felt more
feelings within the confines of my little car than any other ride of my life. I just show her the key and she’s ready to go—vroom!!
Seeing the Speed Limit “70” sign creep by at less than five miles
per hour during rush hours is a disheartening sight. Glowing red
tail lights stretching PAST the horizon.
I’ve seen some things. These are actual photos from my commutes this semester and that's a screenshot of an afternoon it took 47 minutes to drive the last 13 miles to my home. FUCKED.
Road time teaches me about negotiation; a learned and earned
skill. I can spot “late behaviors” like
speeding and tailgating for what they are—panics. I remember engaging in late behaviors and
being white-knuckle afraid of losing my job if I was late. #pleasedon’t
All that time alone on the road is my time for reflexivity—about
my teaching and my own studies. I was
angry about commuting, but now that I’m relocating to Denton, it seems better—at
least in my mind. Somehow, through the
grace of my inner-self (which I am discovering); I realized, “If I am hard on
myself, it will only make things HARDER ON MYSELF.” It was like an epiphany. “Epiphy-what?”
I could feel my shoulders immediately melting down away from
my ears. My neck returned to its
vertical position, back from the assumed attentive, craned-forward posture. The end is near—only 529 days till graduation—assuming
the Spring 2020 cohort walks the stage on May 9, 2020.
#fromthefrontdesk
I am so excited that you're moving to Denton! I have to say that I think this will not only benefit your studies by allowing you more time to work on school stuff, but I think it will give you more time to utilize us (your cohort) as a support system! I used to commute to and from school in my freshman and sophomore years, and it sucked. I felt like after a long day I wanted to go home and unwind and do homework, and as a result I missed out on a lot of events and chances to make friends on campus. Not only that, but so much stress will fall off your plate! I hate driving, but it is a necessary evil because I still drive to and from Grapevine and Denton to work my other job. But it stresses me the fuck out, because I too worry about impressions I might make by being late to my destination. Also people are shitty drivers and make me angry.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to create more fun memories with you during your newfound free time, and also time for us to study together!!! I can't think of a better group of people I'd want to graduate with.