On my journey in education, I can gratefully reflect back to the teachers and mentors I had throughout middle school and junior high school who poured into me and shaped me into the woman I am today. Hooks (1994) emphasizes in her book, Teaching to Transgress that “professors who are not concerned with inner well-being are the most threatened by the demand on the part of students for liberatory education, for pedagogical processes that will aid them in their own struggle for self-actualization” (Hooks, 1994 pp. 17). This type of practice would not be implementing #MindfulLearning whatsoever and students desperately need teachers to guide them in reaching their full potential whether the student is in their primary, secondary, or post-secondary education.
I am a sibling of four. I have two sisters, Whitni who is ten years older than I am and Symone who is 15 months older than me. I also have a twin brother, Jacques who is four minutes younger than I am. Symone, Jacques and I went to the same school up until the time we went to junior high school (Jacques transferred to a different school). Since we moved to North Dallas, I always experienced an overwhelming and annoying amount of attention from my peers because there was three of us at one school. They treated us like triplets, and I really cannot say that I knew any other students who had more than one sibling attending the same school, so it was all eyes on us. I absolutely hated it, I used to tell people that I was adopted because I was always reminded someway somehow that I was not supposed to be here. For a while I conditioned myself to believe that I did not belong here, and I was not supposed to be here. My Mother found out she was having twins at her 7 month checkup and she always felt the need to remind how overly depressed she was when she found out about me.
Anyways, I hated being compared to my sister when it came to playing sports and academics, and I hated being a twin to a boy on top of that. A lot of my female friendships were stemmed from them “having a crush on my brother” so I kept my distance from a lot of people because at an early age I could see through the bullsh*t. My mother being single and raising three young children alone did what she could to attend to each of us, but I personally feel like I have always received the bare minimum (even til this day) because I have always been seen as the low maintenance child. My Father at the time lived in Florida, but he would come down for holidays and take us back to West Dallas whenever he came into town. My siblings and I played a different sport each season of the school year and I was the child who did not have anyone come to my games to support me, so what did I do? I quit.
I saw absolutely no point of continuing something I barely even enjoyed just for the sake of my athletic legacy with Mom being a Southern Methodist University Basketball Legend and a previous overseas Pro Basketball Player and my Father being a Football Legend at Vanderbilt University. It showed and proved to me that no one cared about me on top of always being mistreated in comparison to my siblings, I was tired of existing especially since I didn’t “belong here anyhow”.
In middle school, I was insanely suicidal. I would intake numerous amounts of different pills that I could find around my house and take them just so I could “go to sleep forever” and it never worked. One day I was in theater class, I had taken probably over fifteen different pills that day and I was so groggy, I could barely keep my head up. My theater instructor, Mrs. Harper knew something was not right with me. I do not know how, but thinking back, she was so #Mindful of my wellbeing I believe she noticed my energy and spirit depreciating as we got through the school year. I used to sit right in front of her with all smiles and I ended up moving myself to the very back of the class and kept my head smack down on the desk. She asked me over and over what was wrong with me, and I just continued telling her day by day that I was tired. One day, I think she had enough of my excuses and my behavior. Mrs. Harper took me to the bathroom and made me throw up. We both looked at what was left of what I swallowed that actually came back up and she just held me and cried with me. I told her everything I was feeling and experiencing, and I begged her not to tell my mom or send me to the office or hospital. She kept her promise, but every day moving froward she kept me on a leash. She watched over me, she took care of me, she made me eat lunch with her every day and made me fall in love with the TV Show I Love Lucy. She trusted me but also held me accountable for my previous actions. She asked me every single day “did you take something today?” and I would tell her the truth, that I did not. She would give me this death stare like you better not be lying to me little girl, and we would always laugh afterwards, but I know deep down she knew I was being honest. She supported anything and everything I wanted to do. She is one the main reasons I am still here today, and I will forever be indebted to her.
Thank you, Mrs. Harper. Thank you for taking the time to be #Mindful of me as a young, confused, and desperate little girl. Thank you for #Learning how to deal with me and teaching me how to cope with my problems when you had so much going on your damn self. You truly saved me.
Source:
Hooks, B. (1994). Teaching to transgress: Education as the practice of freedom. New York: Routledge.
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