Trick or treat tell me how you would teach? 🎃🖤

 Trick or treat tell me how would you teach?  If you would , would you dare to teach within your heart and care? HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2K21!!!!  

Parker J. Palmer is a well known pedagogical writer known for discussing how instructors should teach through heart work. Heart work is defined as teachers aligning their actions and meaning behind their actions within their teachings. It is when teachers move past what an institution is telling them to teach. It is when an instructor cares for an educational reform movement in change and in their students lives. It is done by both loving the subject and loving the students from an inner and outer scale.  (Palmer, P. J., 2017, The Courage to Teach Guide for Reflection and Renewal)

Within the classroom setting, I chose to both love the subject I teach and incorporate my students lives because they matter!!!!! In one of the classes I teach, Communication 1010, I always incorporate a reflection of my students in each lesson. I have done the second day of class. Music is a great way to get to know each other right? On the second day of class, I had the students create a playlist on Spotify so that we could have a playlist that incorporates them through the choice of music. I had to explain to them that all genres of music were welcomed including music that had profanity in it. I think music is a great way to show off who we are both culturally and lyrically. It is a great way to #diversifyit. They were so shocked that I gave them the chance to add ANY song of their liking. The playlist that we created gets played 15-10 minutes before the start of class and during group work time in class as long as it is not a distraction to them. Whenever we are at the bottom of the playlist, I either ask groups to give me a new song to add whenever they finished before other groups have finished with the classroom’s group activity. (We usually do an activity in groups. They get broken into groups and accomplish whatever is asked of them such as creation of a social movement that they would campaign for it and other questions related to lesson). If I have downtown, I will add a couple songs on there myself but I am careful not to overpower the music selection. I have added 6 songs so far this semester. Our playlist should consist of 40+songs now as we are entering the fourth quarter of the semester!! (ALREADY). This in my eyes, allows them to feel more comfortable in our class and it allows them to be heard. 

When it comes to the course, whatever the lesson of the given unit is, I am sure to be inclusive of the students. This allows them to be heard educationally as such topics may have never been addressed in an educational setting. This definitely allows the students to be felt,seen and heart.For example, they had to write a paper that discussed an important social issue to them. A week prior to taking them to one of the Univeristy of North Texas’s student computer labs,

 (Yes I spent the entire class week with them there in order to ensure that EVERY student had access to a computer because you never know a student’s financial background meaning, some students may not own a laptop and or have limited access to using the school’s computers. Spending class in the lab for two course periods, allowed them to spend their time on their assignment. I wanted them to all feel like they ALL had access. No student left behind!!!:) 

 I discussed a few social issues that I would want to write about it if I had to write about a social issue that mattered to me #DiversifyIt. I discussed the mass incarceration disadvantage that African American people face compared to Caucasian people. I also discussed that my hometown, Peoria, Illinois has ranked in the top 5 for the past 5 years as the worst place for African-Americans to live in. This allowed them to understand where I stood with the African Community as well as where I came from and the things that I some of the injustices that I have witnessed the African-American Community go through. Mass incarceration is ONE OF MANY SOCIAL ISSUES that the American American community face. Being an ally, it is my due diligence to advocate the injustices that the A.A community faces. By discussing the unfairness of incarcerated American Americans, I hope I showed students compasssion and understandable as I may have spoken to some of them directly. There NEEDS to be a reform within incarceration and badly!! Sooner rather than later. SO With that being said, maybe some of my students had or currently have their uncles, cousins, brothers and other family members or close family/friends who got falsely charged with a crime and sentenced to prison. I let them know that I am sorry and that there needs to be a major reform. Although my apology won’t free their person/people, I hope that it did show some type of compassion. I Incorporated the topic so that it would allow me to show the students that I truly care about them outside of the classroom. I care about them from a systemic view. This system is so unfair towards minorities it’s sickening. It’s BEEN time to switch it up and cater towards EVERYBODY regardless of their skin tone.

 The revolution beings within the classroom whether people realize it or not. Inclusiveness can be discussed throughout the entire semester. Inclusion shows that you care beyond the subject. You care to discuss current social issues and allows you to advocate for minorities who are in dire need of advocation. Inclusiveness of topics may allow for  conversations to take place.  By strategically discussing that as an example, I snuck that fact in there and hopefully allowed for some new thoughts to enter my students minds. I hope this allowed them to do their own research and discuss the new information that they learned to their friends and family members. Being an advocate for a social issue starts off with the awareness of an issue. Then, you advocate it. How? EASY.. You make people talk about it, you inform them about the issue. Within this issue, reformation goes outside of just talking about it, but we as the people (citizens of the United States), are the reason why laws occur and how and why they should occur!! Teaching our students goes outside of the subject. We must show them how to be advocative citizens. For the people, by the people. The people shall not be silenced and the revolution shall be televised. (I love saying the last part because truly us millennials are onto something. I love us for real.) 

Sources:

Palmer, P. J., & Scribner, M. (2017). The Courage to Teach Guide for Reflection and Renewal (3rd ed.). Jossey-Bass.

**YES, YES I KNOW I GAVE YOU A BAR AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS BLOG SO IMA GO AHEAD AND CREDIT MYSELF CYNTHIA GOT BARS OLIVEROS!!!!! *Drops Mic*

Care, Understanding, & Gentle Reminders

   

 These past few weeks have been very hard on my students. Every Thursday I come into class and ask, “how are we doing?” and since about week 4, I’ve gotten the same responses: tired, drained, long faces saying, “good” or “eh”. It makes me sad to see my students hurting but I also know that learning is painful. The long faces remind me that my students are doing their jobs, even if it makes me upset to see them in pain.

    This week, however, my students said, “good.” I was pleasantly surprised by this. As I walked in they seemed to be in a joking and lighthearted mood, one of them even acting as the teacher before I got into the class (yet once I gave him the responsibility of leading the ice breaker he quickly backed down). I asked what everyone was doing this weekend or if they had anything good happen recently and I received some rather positive responses. Many people were planning to dress up for Halloween this weekend, hang out with coworkers, or even catch up on sleep. I was reminded that student play is an essential component of their well-being, and happy to hear people had time to take a break and let loose. After all, they’ve been working particularly hard as of recently, and their improvements have been showing within the assignments.

    I partially include “we” when I ask how things are going because a class cannot be a class without the community. I also partially include “we” because I’m asking myself as well. I’m connected to my students just as much as they are connected to me, so in a sense, we’re an ecosystem. My students can only learn so much without me, and I can only facilitate so much without them. Including “we” in asking how they’re doing is a way for me to verbalize my feelings of connectedness while showing them my desire to engage in learning with them. As a teacher, I accept the responsibility to help my students with what they are going through, even though I don’t necessarily expect them to do the same.

    Later on in the class, we had a conversation about mental health. With the topic of technology and emotions being the primary focus of that day’s class, I wanted my students to understand the importance of taking a break from social media at times and introspecting on self-care. I explained that our society’s, and especially our generation’s, continuous focus on extrinsic perception can cause a lot of anxiety. Even in one of my own classes this week we discussed the current young adult mental health pandemic, which I mentioned.

    The looks I received from several of my students was that of longing. I felt a gaze from some that illustrated intense focus and participation with what I was saying as if they had wished someone had told them this all along. Others looked at me with sadness. I could feel the loneliness in some people’s eyes. I think deep down many of them understand that people cannot exist without community and that social media platforms cannot completely fill the primal human need for connection. I truly hope the classroom can be a place that they feel safe and within a community if they don’t always feel such a connectedness outside.

    Since reading bell hooks, I’ve really been trying to focus on this idea of self-actualizing and understanding how my own mental/physical state affects my students. Sometimes self-actualizing looks like making sure I have coffee and food before class. Other times, filling my own cup looks like taking a break from work that morning so I can focus on preparing my lesson. In either sense, I really value being able to meet my students where they’re at, which also includes doing the same for myself. This week I was glad to give some care, even if it’s just in the form of a reminder. I knew it’s what they needed. #HeartworkisHardwork when you see your students in pain, but it’s healing to remind them you’re there.

Teachers As Organizational Leaders

For my Comm 3920 class I recently graded a case study in which students were asked to relate a video on leadership to concepts they have been learning from the textbook. Specifically this video, which I'll post below, features Simon Sinek discussing servant leadership.  The premise is simple yet unique in practice; a good leader cares more about the outcome of those he/she leads than the individual success they receive. Wanting some more theory behind this concept I decided to re-read that chapter of the textbook for the class. There is an important distinction between two types of organizational management styles that is strikingly similar to pedagogical theories we have been discussing. That's when I had the idea to look at teachers as organizational leaders, potentially blending my own experiences with my new ventures.

The two types of organizational leadership models are transactional and transformational. Transactional leadership requires a type of exchange of some sort between the leader and the followers. For example, a transactional manager of a team will exchange higher pay and the promise of upward mobility for hard work and productivity. This style of management is rooted in fear and danger of losing out on whatever the exchange promises. Sinek uses the example of a flight attendant being rude to passengers out of fear that if she doesn't enforce certain policies that she will lose her job. Those placing an emphasis on profit might see this as practical and "good business", but their short-sightedness fails to see their employees as the real asset they are to the company. Contrast this style with the transformational leadership model. Wonderfully described by Katherine Miller in the textbook, transformational leaders "create a relationship between leaders and followers that helps followers reach their full potential and has the potential for transforming both the leader and the follower" (Miller 2015). She then introduces the concept of exemplification, which within organizational leadership is the idea that a good leader exemplifies the traits and charateristics they want their followers to have. Developing a relationship, striving for followers to reach their full potential, and leading by example are all concepts that should be applied to teaching. 

If your Freire lightbulb hasn't already turned on then allow me to help out. The transactional model of management bears a strong resemblance to the banking model in that it is intrinsically oppressive by requiring action to receive a reward. Authority in this sense is solely held by the leader. Akin to the banking model in which "a teacher disciplines and the students are disciplined" (Freire 1970). Sinek makes the claim that whomever practices this may be an authority but they are no leader. The true leader will practice problem posing, transformational leadership, in which the followers and leader are transformed through a co-intentional process of knowledge creation.

Good teachers and good organizational managers should adopt the same leadership practices. After all, isn't a teacher trying to get their team (students) to increase productivity (knowledge) and collectively grow from their experiences? Freire might take issue with encouraging teachers to be like organizational managers, but by applying the transformational leadership model to teaching I'm encouraging both teachers and organizational managers to become servant leaders. As a student I rarely thought about which teachers were actively putting my interests before their own. I'm sure most probably did as teaching is largely a selfless profession, but by looking at it from this perspective it has helped me envision how I will teach; as a servant leader with the intention of empowering my students to reach their full potential.

Pouring from an Empty Cup

    This weekend I took 3 days off. It's that point in the semester where taking 3 days off is actually pretty stressful and not recommended. Every class has a paper, grading gets harder as final projects begin, and the students who weren't interested in my help are now reaching out for those second chances to make A's as they realize their window of opportunity to keep their 4.0 is dwindling. In exciting news, my thesis is making progress as my major professor helps me understand the immense amount of data I am looking at, and completing a thesis finally seems like a tangible item. 

    Did I need to take 3 days off? Honestly, yes. Maybe I will play catch up this month for this day off and later again before and after NCA, but I want to be present in all I do. I can't be present when I feel drained or torn in different places. So I went home for the weekend to see my parents and family dog (and our family cat, and family chickens, and family butterfly garden...). Then on Monday I was expecting to get on campus when a doctor specialist called and after a month of waiting for an appointment they could squeeze me in! How thankful I am for that, but boy oh boy, this two hour appointment DRAINED my energy. I went home and slept the rest of the day, far off from my plans of on campus productivity. Maybe my appointment would not have drained me so much under normal circumstances, but last week I had a very stressful series of office hours. 

    When I read Palmer I bought into the concepts, but didn't quite feel like his book was revolutionary, maybe it's because I already believed teaching was heartwork and that teacher's teach from their self. I've seen enough teachers I adore with everything in me and teachers I loathe to apply that logic. But I hadn't engaged in what I might consider the "grit" of heartwork and teaching until last week. My online teaching semester yielded the opportunity to teach, but many students weren't as engaged due to the circumstance, I feel that I missed the opportunity for involved teaching the way in person has allowed. Back to office hours now, I met with the same student for about 2 hours on two different days and I wish I could say my confidence in the student's understanding of the course concepts improved. They were frustrated, I was frustrated, they were tired, I was tired. AND I was out of ideas to teach, explain, or collaborate further. It took emotional labor to show compassion, patience, and empathy on my part. Compassion for the student, but also for myself. This is the first student I have had where my teaching techniques were exhausted and not guaranteed helpful for this student. I reached out for help from a professor but still felt defeated. I also felt tired, these two hours of time with this student were not easy and as I went into the weekend I felt myself needing a break. Time to reset and rest so I can return next week with the emotional capacity to participate in authentic passion and love for my students and for what I get to teach them.

    As graduate students, it is so easy to fall into the notion of needing to constantly work. I see burnout everywhere around me. As I learn and apply aspects of world making, it is important that I try and push back the capitalist mindset that my success and value are tied to by ability to work nonstop. #EducatedWorldmaking in application means taking breaks and being vulnerable about that time instead of falling into toxic work and student cultures that prioritize work over health and lead to burnout. This break might set me behind a bit, but I know that overall, I can't pour from an empty cup. I need time to refill my cup so I can go forth and be the friend, student, teacher, and person I want to be for myself and others.

Palmer, Parker J. (1998). The courage to teach: exploring the inner landscape of a teacher's life. San Francisco, Calif.:Jossey-Bass,

All We're Asking Is For You to LOVE US, PLEASE LOVE US!!! EDUCATE US!!! TREAT US AS HUMAN BEINGS!!!

In 1630 the first school was invented in the United States of America. The academic institution has always had an underlying term to marginalize any person of color. Knowledge is the greatest tool in this life us humans live in. Knowledge is what gets you UNDERSTAND life,  maneuver through life as well as getting ahead. Knowledge is something that can never be stolen from you! It is stitched within your brain, which is why it is the most precious gift of life. As a human, every person no matter their gender, their preference of sexuality and their skin color, deserves to have the power to simply know and learn.

It is crazy that there has been a debate over the right for a human to seek knowledge since 1839-1960 (I would argue that the fight has been present since the evolution of academia and is truly still present in 2021). If you create an access restriction for a certain crowd, that is one of the easiest ways of being ahead. As history has shown during slavery, slaves were not able to read or write. They could die if caught being studious. When one reads, one knows about the world and its surrounding. One can know many different things. From arithmetic, to asian culture, human rights and random facts such as who the world's spelling Bee champion is (Zalia Avant-Garde, #BlackGirlMagic #Diversifyit). 

Learning has always been limited. All because we, people of color, have a different skin tone color. Just because my skin is different as well as my ancestors, his ancestors, our ancestors have been different. We have been viewed by the Caucasian population as objects and not humans. If only the Caucasian population as a whole, love us for just being us, skin color and all. We really are beautiful people. Just like all people of color are not bad, not all white people are racist. Please understand that you, (if you are Caucasian) have a responsibility beyond being our ally. Love us. Let us have the same fair treatment that y'all obtain. Let us have a fair chance at education. On the behalf of me from the student perspective. 

Oppressors can easily turn the narrative of people of color being seen as more than just objects through love.  By loving us as humans, you can help us become the intelligent, loving human beings we deserve to be!! This form can be shown beyond the academic world. There is a much need revolution in the system as a whole. The fight has to come from the oppressors. WE NEED THE OPPRESSOR TO BE OUR ALLY!! -Paulo Freire. 

Loving us, is how you become our ally. This is not something that should be earned, hence the term of false generosity. Love is something that every human being should give!! The good news is that we can change the narrative! 

I myself, am viewed as an oppressor. I will revolutionize the much needed education world as a Teaching Assistant and #differsifyit. On the behalf of the Teaching/Oppressor me, 

I give ALL of my students the chance to have the chance to learn at the higher level of academia. Some of them may have never seen anyone like me, talk like me, or be as proud and so encouraging of "shaking the table... or switching the dynamic if you will. I discuss each lesson of every unit with incorporation of gender, class, ethnicity, and love. #Diversifiyit Love to me, goes beyond the classroom. It is really showing that you care about your students outside of the subject. Yesterday, before class started, I asked my student if he was okay. I noticed that 2/3 of his recent assignments were not his usual studious input. I could tell that something has been going on. I recalled him asking me for more information about therapy so I decided to ask check on him before class started he did mention that he went to therapy and that he was okay now. My student is a Caucasian twenty-something year old male. If I can show my student love both as a human and student, than so can anyone of any background. We need it!! It is our right!! 

I also go above the subject by discussing topics during my house keeping (Classroom announcements such as: upcoming assignments, homework questions, comments or questions, general questions, etc. This is  the beginning of the class). I have and plan on discussing grade calculations, self care, credit, therapy and ways to study. I plan on asking them to give me some topics that they would like me to discuss that they would want to know as they are commencing the beginning of adulthood or are entering their twenties. I have students that range from 17-23. They need extra access to love. They are at a point in life where they are trying to put the pieces together. They need the access to this love and to the knowledge that for some odd reason is not as out there as it should be. 

Knowledge to all backgrounds should have been taught to all ages from the beginning. Even when that didn't happen, as history has shown, they should have commenced it between the end of middle school and the upperclassman in high school. This is when students commence their role in society. I wish I would have had a teacher who discussed the importance of credit. I am a first semester graduate student, and I have NEVER had one teacher teach me the importance of credit. Being a member of the Mexican community, I as well as my parents are figuring it out. I am the first generation to be born here. From credit to my academic studies, I can not go to my parents about such issues due to their lack of knowledge. 

It is so crucial to show love to students from each and every background just beyond the subject. The subject itself is very important. Students including myself, have been through a lot to get to the higher academia level. WE EARNED THE PRIVILEGE TO STUDY!!! Our work ethic, drive and competence has gotten us here. Is that not worthy enough to view me as a human?

I'm still working on me and I'm coming back better

As I approach the near end of my third semester in graduate school and I reflect over my hashtag #MindfulLearning, I want to continue being completely open and vulnerable with not only you all, but myself, as I have recently been faced with some harsh realities that I desperately needed to recognize before it was too late. 

I have become #Mindful that my personal life has changed tremendously since this past summer and although these changes were ultimately the best decision, I could have made for myself, there have also been major consequences to my decisions. As of May, I was homeless and without a car. I was previously living with my Mother, but she is mentally ill and goes through periods where she does not like me and will kick me out of the house. I decided that this would be the last time I would go through the uncomfortableness of not knowing if I could come back to a place I called home and trying to force my Mother to love and treat me decently.

 From the month of May to August, I bounced around from house to house with my puppy Zeus with hopes that I could get my own apartment and be independent and free from toxic relationships. I am so grateful that I had such a strong support system over the summer to transport me to and from work, and any place I needed to stay for a couple of weeks at a time.Over the summer I worked my ass off to save money to buy furniture for my apartment and have money to pay my rent being that the only reason I was able to get my own apartment was because of the Graduate Assistantship I was offered, but little did I know I would not be receiving my first paycheck until October.  I conditioned myself not to spend money unnecessarily, but most importantly not to spend money on food. I would eat once a day or not all and I sadly still do this till this day.

 When I moved into my apartment at the beginning of August, I continued this practice because I needed to make sure I could pay my rent being that my only source of income at the time was from DJ’ing. As a result, I have formed an eating disorder that is drastically changing my appearance. None of my clothes fit anymore and I do not like seeing myself in the mirror because I do not recognize the person looking back at me. I have conditioned myself not to eat for the sake of saving money, sustaining energy to keep doing work, and as a result I no longer have an appetite; and if I do eat, it makes me feel sick. It also does not help that I ride a bike for a total of four miles from Downtown Denton to campus and back, therefore nothing I eat will stick to me because I’m burning more calories than I am intaking while also struggling with having an urge to eat at all. Riding the train three days a week has been mentally taxing and affecting me in the darkest and most negative ways. 

I get harassed every single day on the train by crackheads, homeless people, and even prostitutes. I try to keep my head down and headphones in, but each and every time I have someone who refuses to leave me alone. I politely try and decline conversation but I either get cursed out or threatened as a result, which keeps me on edge constantly. I’m a tough girl, probably the toughest female you will ever meet. I have been through a lot and I have seen too much, but I can honestly say this is the first time I have ever feared for my well-being in my lifetime. I have had individuals on the train light a crack pipe and try and blow the smoke in my face. I have had men masturbate in front of me and follow me if I moved away from there. I have had a group of men circle around in attempt to get me to converse with them and touch me without asking. You may ask, “Where is security?” They are nowhere to be found on or outside of the DART train. I hold a taser in my hand the entirety of my train ride which surprisingly brings even more unwanted attention to me. I do not know when I will ever get another car because I do not have the money to buy a car, pay for insurance, or even help from my parents. I financially depend on myself, so the train is my only option right now. I am thankful for my professors for allowing me to leave class ten minutes early to catch the last train of the night that departs at 9pm. 

 I recently made the decision to take a break from DJ’ing because the back-to-back late nights and early mornings were extremely taxing on my workload of being a full-time student, part time teaching assistant, accepting my job back at the radio station, and preparing for COMPS when the semester ends. Thinking back at my decision makes me really sad because DJ’ing is my passion, but I also had to recognize some of the environments I was allowing myself to be sucked into where men were sexually harassing me and trying to force me to have relations with them in order to keep my residency at their specific venue. I let it all go for my sanity and there are so many other things I want to let go, but I am forcing myself to see it through. I promise this is not a cry for help. I have been opening up about this to the people I love and trust, and they are helping my get through it all. I am still #learning how to openly express my struggles and let down my stone brick wall that makes people assume I have my shit together. I am here to #Mindfully recognize and state that I am slowly falling apart, BUT I am striving to #Learn how to put myself back together again.

In the words of Abbass-Dick et al. (2020) “Mindfulness assists individuals to focus their attention, increase their curiosity and accept present moment experiences in the body, which help enable them to recognize that intense, unpleasant sensations do pass,” and this too shall pass.

Thank you for reading.

Source:

Abbass-Dick, J., Sun, W., Stanyon, W. M., Papaconstantinou, E., D’Paiva, V., Jiwani-Ebrahim, N., & Dennis, C.-L. (2020). Designing a mindfulness resource for expectant and new mothers to promote maternal mental wellness: Parents’ knowledge, attitudes and learning preferences. Journal of Child & Family Studies, 29(1), 105–114. 

https://doi-org.libproxy.library.unt.edu/10.1007/s10826-019-01657-5

How do I deal with BS excuses?

I think we've all been there. Woke up late, it's raining outside, the feeling that we're forgetting to do something is creeping in. I've felt this way a lot lately, and in fact I have forgot to do several things this past week. The natural tendency is to avoid any and all responsibilities, go back to bed, and not think about it. Wouldn't it be so much nicer if life worked that way? We have obligations to our classes, students, parents, significant others, and to ourselves. Inevitably we will drop the ball on one of those obligations at some point, so how do we deal with it? A bullshit excuse, obviously.

I had a student recently send me an email detailing why she was unable to complete an assignment on time. This particular student has had an issue with turning in assignments before, and has gotten sick more frequently than all of the other students combined. Especially for an online class it seems that an assignment should be completed on time. Being sick doesn't prevent you from reading an article and commenting on it, right? Well in this case the student once again claimed that she wasn't feeling well. She then felt compelled to share that she was scratched by a squirrel, requiring a visit to the campus clinic, and adding to her list of reasons she was unable to complete the assignments. 

What am I to make of this? Scratched by a squirrel?!?

Come on... Let's assume this played out the way she described. How does that really prevent her from completing an online assignment that has been posted for over a week? After initially laughing at her email I thought about how I should respond. I tried to think about how hooks, Friere, or Palmer would respond.

Friere would probably remind me that I am already acting as an oppressor by dismissing this students struggle. I don't know what this student is going through. Maybe she works full time and can't complete assignments during the week. Maybe she is allergic to squirrels and it really affected her ability to complete assignments! How would I know except by asking and understanding her on a more personal level? Palmer would agree that only by connecting with this student can I teach her more whollly. I am reminded of his quote: “Good teachers possess a capacity for connectedness. They are able to weave a complex web of connections among themselves, their subjects, and their students so that students can learn to weave a world for themselves.”

My goal in doing this is to help empower students. Connecting with them and allowing them to "weave" that world is necessary to achieve that empowerment. I've used bullshit excuses before, and my parents, teachers, bosses have probably shared it and laughed about it with their friends. What an easy connection I could have made with the student. She got scratched by a squirrel, and when I was in college I probably said my car broke down so I could play a new video game that just came out. The important part is that she gets the assignment done and is learning the material. For future excuses I get I need to remember my goal is to empower students, and that whatever they might be going through, whether they decide to disclose it to me honestly or not, that I should afford them the opportunity to learn and grow. 

As long as there aren't more squirrel attacks in the future....

p.s. I couldn't help but think of a squirrel revolution when thinking of what Friere would do in this situation and felt this was especially relevant:

References:

Palmer, P. J. (2017). The courage to teach: Exploring the inner landscape of a teacher's life. Jossey-Bass, a Wiley brand.

Mid-Semester State of Mind

I have realized that I am not the only one doing this work (Teaching), my amazing students are bringing their ‘woke’ lens to the classroom and responding in powerful ways. And the thought of how far I have grown on my own and together with my students in this learning journey sends a chill down my spine.

I find this transformation and transformative classrooms a big testament to Hook's vision of changing the way we think of pedagogy as liberatory for all involved in education. Hook in her writing said, “we are all striving not just for knowledge in books, but for knowledge about how to live in the world.”

From the teacher to the student to the institutions we teach and learn from each other in my new ways every day.

Hmmmmm, Hooks’ so powerful!!

I am most glad to write about the work and progress going on in my classroom, it is Hook’s belief in reflection and praxis, an action that makes it possible for me to teach in a relaxed state and have my students act on their own in the same relaxed state. 

No more calls to come to class early, no more respect talks, no more mobile phones distraction talks.

While I am glad about these improved attitudes and progress from the students, I am also careful not to be carried away and revert to using the Banking Model, rather than exploring learning together.

Thanks to Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed) for bringing to my notice and understanding about the different models of education, having Freire ringing a reminder bell in my head keeps me grounded and focused.

I have made a conscious decision not to be an OPPRESSOR in any form whatsoever (Unwash the brainwash)

Mid-semester seems tough on everyone, deadlines to meet, exams to take, classes to attend, OA, DQs, etc. to turn in every week!

In my mid-semester #BeYouTiful state, I have decided to approach my students as human beings capable of engaging in dialogue any day, anytime. 

 CONSTANT REMINDER:

1: Dialogue is Hope

2: Dialogue is Love

3: Dialogue is Faith

Without dialogue there is no communication, it is our responsibility to sit and listen sometimes.

How else can I handle the Mid Semester pressure and not let it affect my classroom behavior? 

 This question sat in my head without an answer but again thanks to Freire for letting me know that the “students and I can attain this knowledge of reality through common reflection, action and discover ourselves as permanent re-creators” (p.69).

We are co-learners in this journey so I must give students the opportunity to self-select, it helps them have more choice in the classroom.

These are my Mid Semester #BeYouTiFul state of mind and boy, never felt so good knowing that I am taking bold steps towards being a teacher and not an oppressor.

I hope like me, you’re all having a #BeYouTiFul Mid Semester state of mind…… 

Sources

Hooks, B. (1994). Teaching to transgress: Education as the practice of freedom. New York: Routledge.

 

Freire, P.  (1970/2000). Pedagogy of the oppressed: 30th Anniversary Edition. New York:  Continuum.

 

Steve, W. (2017). Paulo Freire’s Pedagogy of the Oppressed: A visual summary

http://meaning.guide/index.php/2017/07/21/paulo-freires-pedagogy-of-the-oppressed-a-visual-summary/

 

 Recipe for success:

-For women teachers-

Have you ever wanted to be successful in life? You can be! Just follow these five simple steps!

 

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breath out. Hold it for five seconds, release for five seconds. Repeat.

This weeks’ readings of walking in the woods with Pooh, chapter two and three discuss how to keep your mind and your body in the present. It talks about how we can accidently overwhelm ourselves. We all have different ways of dealing with things so it is important to try to find a basic structure that everyone can mold in their own way.

Having different breathing exercises is an important part of keeping both your mind and your body in the here and now. We all day dream and zone out to the different pasts or futures we go into. Going in and out of these things can mentally drain us. If we are mentally drained then we can get physically and emotionally drained as well.

It is easy for the mind and the body to harm each other. Both can be distant. Both can be neutral. Both can be separated in a way from each other. The mind can be away but the body can stay in the present and vice versa. The book goes through how stress and anxiety can overwhelm us and take us away from enjoying what is right in front of us.

Everything starts with a purpose. We can run ourselves to empty very easy if we do not keep our mind and body in the present. The book goes through simple steps to make sure we always start our day in the present. Along with the things discussed in the introduction and in chapter one, we need to pay attention to a few other things.

1. Think about the way you do everything. Replay and think about every little movement in the things you do, even down to how you blink and breathe. By thinking and being aware of the specific way you do something, it is easier to stay in the present.

2. If we match our breathing with our awareness, it is easy to pull ourselves back from where our mind and body disappear to. Breathing and taking a moment to pause helps pull us back to reality.

Remember in order to be successful teachers, we must teach ourselves first. It is okay if things have to be put off until the next day. We #dontrunonempty very well and we don’t need to start.

Breathe in, breathe out, repeat.

Parent, J. (2018) A walk in the wood: Meditation on mindfulness with a bear named pooh

Heartwork Yourself

 

I will never forget the day that I broke-down and cried. Why was I crying? I was crying because it was 2 a.m. and I only got one thing done on my to-do list. All my life I run full speed and every second of the day is planned; but there is always something missing. I never plan for me. I plan the activities and put my heart into my students, but never into myself. I am always letting myself run on empty. It does not matter how much coffee or sugar I pump into my small 21 year old veins will make up for it.

Right now I am reading "A Walk in the Wood" by Joseph and Nancy Parent. The book uses the childhood figure Winnie the Pooh to reteach adults how to do little things to take time for themselves. The introduction and the first chapter of the book go over the simple things a person can do to start their day by taking time for themselves.

    1. Be in the here and now as much as one possibly can.

This meaning, take the time to slowly wake up every part of your body. Focus on every little noise and enjoy existing.

    2. Be as kind as possible. Not only to others but to yourself as well.

   If you are not kind to yourself you cannot be kind to other.

The book gives specific areas to start your day right and make it fulfilling. The first one being, wake up your body. Start by stretching and moving every inch you can. Second wake up to your environment. Take the time to listen and place yourself into the reality you want. Finally set your intentions for the day. Make a positive list of your goals and dream plan. Understand that it is ok if not all gets done. What is important is that you took the time for yourself, even if it starts with only 10 minutes.

This past week in class we talked about teaching being heartwork according to Parker Palmer. With heart work having the passion and teaching and feeling as one, we should stop only putting heartwork towards other and more to ourselves. We as teachers and as human beings spend all the time in the world trying to make others happy and putting our heart and heartwork into people that may or maynot care. "A Walk in the Wood" teaches us how to put the heartwork back into who we are and who we wan to be. We #dontrunonempty very well, no matter how much we think we can.

In all this week, make sure to take time for you. Even if it is only 10 minutes and #dontrunonempty.

Sources: Palmer, P. J. (2011). The courage to teach: Exploring the inner landscape of a teacher's life.

Parent, J. (2018) A walk in the wood: Meditation on mindfulness with a bear named pooh

tearful sky.

I'm standing in-between Avenue C and Mulberry. The rain water had collected with enough effort to pool together into great streams all across campus. The downward slope starting from the GAB was like traversing through a mountain creek - not too glamorous in my water soaked feet and my contacts that were drying up due to my mask breath. It was lonely. All the students in class today had all went home, since everyone was attending class via zoom, and I was the only one left guarding the work space. Even after classes had ended, I still went to work past that time, studying for an exam at another school even knowing that I'm probably going to fail that midterm. Upon leaving the building, the groups or pairs of students I would normally see at this time, living their lives and spurring a sense of narcissistic jealousy in me about the ease of their lives, were no where to be found. Hugging my umbrella handle like it was my closest friend, I let the loneliness seep in. 

bell hooks talked about change being painful. When I first read that, I had thought about how much I remained unchanged as I tried to change myself. If I did more, if I was more, then it might be possible for someone to love me, then the loneliness that I have since the day I was born might fade away. But as I climbed to academic ladder, more course, more degree plans, more involvement and personal responsibility, despite the joys I've felt interacting with everyone I've met, they always went home at the end of the day. They all had someone waiting for them at the end of the day, while I would walk this mountain stretch everyday alone. I haven't changed enough for love, for freedom. It was certainly the case with the people I had to interact with on a daily basis. They never said it, but the look in their eyes, their silent expressions, the change in personality around others, I knew my presence elicited hate in them. And I deserved it - I wasn't enough to be their real friend. At best I was a friend, a being stuck in a relation where the other couldn't bare to have any ownership in the flimsy relationship, where I wasn't needed. Or they were friendly, just going through the gestures and phrases like an automated message. When will I be enough.

But, when I heard my students in my individual meetings, I heard cadences and melodies that I thought only I could hear. Sacrificing time for work and school, driving around trying to be a member of a school, fitting in times for meeting that stretched all day long, working through both school and work with an injury. Weren't these the symptoms of loneness too? bell hooks notes the disastrous separation of the private from the personal. What's the point? I should give up. Thoughts that were produced all day and everyday. What was the point in moving up this hill day-after-day, night-after-night. These students feel it, too, right? The denial of self as they try to grab a sheet of paper to get on with their lives, as the support themselves. What grade I make, any thing I could produced in the greater world, I would still be like I am now. Walking alone in the rain. Sitting in my car half-breathing. Crying while eating a burger from McDonalds after midnight.

I heard cars passing by; they too are lonely, right? Loneliness is that separation of self, one that hooks and Freire argue against in learning and education. I feel like I can't change, but it's maybe because I haven't tried yet. All this time, I've been trying to add to a fractured identity, and never once tried to include all of myself. The parts I hate. The parts I wish was like everyone else. The parts that deeply and desperately wanted to be love. These accidently testimonies from my students made me realize that if I wanted support, then I needed to give it more. 

As I returned to my apartment, bug-ridden and out of food, as I took off my socks and saw how wrinkly the bottom of my feet were, I exhaled and fell to sleep, feeling that #LifeGoesOn. Life really does goes on, without or without my sadness. When I wake up, I'll do better to be more of myself, rather than who I should be. People will still leave, hate me, forget about me life the sticky-note kid I am. But I'll still try to mend those distant and paradoxical parts of myself, and I hope I can do the same for my students.       

     #LifeGoesOn

 
  

 Believe Your Students are Co-Creators!

    Last week marked a pivotal moment within my classroom. Both I and my students partook in the co-creative process in Thursday's recitation. During this moment, as my students and I furthered each other's understandings of the world, I was (as hooks says) "developing sharper understandings of how to share knowledge and what to do in my participatory role with students" (p. 152). This moment in time showed me how being vulnerable and submitting to the idea that I too, need my students' help sometimes - and that's okay. #HeartworkisHardwork when traditional notions of pedagogy tell us teachers should always have the answers when in reality, and we decide to let our barriers down, having students aid in the process of collective ideation. 

    This past week's 2020 PowerPoint was jam-packed with definitions. Some definitions we had already gone over in "big lecture" as I call it, and others I was excited to talk about. We were discussing the listening process. Upon discussing barriers to effective listening, we came across a few terms that have very similar meanings - I believe it was selective listening and closeminded that sparked the initial conversation. A student raised their hand and asked, "How do we differentiate between selective listening and closemindedness?" For a moment, a pang of panic shot to my chest. Do I know the answer? I only studied these briefly with the definitions... "Well," I responded, "That's a great question. Personally, I'm thinking that closemindedness connotes a disagreement of opinion" and really, that's all I had to add. In fact, it seemed these terms were very similar (selective listening being the act of only hearing what one wants to hear, closemindedness being choosing not to listen altogether). Then another hand raised, one of my other students gave their input on how to differentiate between the two. Another student added an example. Following that, I produced an example on the board. A few moments later, I realized we were coming together as learners and creators and together, transforming the plane of learning we currently existed on. We were all speaking our own knowledge, and at the same time learning new things, into existence. I was so proud. This process continued on to the next slide, as we discussed a few more terms that were only different from technicality. 

    Another thing I realized, is that there is a stark difference between lack of teacher competence and collective knowledge creation. In order for the co-creation process to occur, the teacher must have the base knowledge to add or begin the conversation. IIn this sense, the teacher acts as a guide, helping the students navigate themselves through the learning process. At this moment, I realized it was not that I didn't have knowledge about this topic, but instead I had limited perspective. I needed my students to give their own input in order for everyone (different learners) within the classroom to fully grasp the differences here. Had this moment been a true threat to my competence, I would've felt deeper fear. While for a moment I had a pang of anxiety, I knew I was somewhat versed in these terms. Had I not known any answer at all, this could've been a total flop of a learning experience likely leaving all parties frustrated or annoyed.

    This goes to show, we have to have faith that our students have valuable things to add to the classroom. Should we believe the teacher is the primary, and only, source of knowledge we leave out the possibility that our students' gifts can produce great things? At this point we know if we believe our students to be zombies, they certainly will be. If we believe our students to be intelligent co-creators in the learning process, they certainly will be.

You Saved Me

On my journey in education, I can gratefully reflect back to the teachers and mentors I had throughout middle school and junior high school who poured into me and shaped me into the woman I am today. Hooks (1994) emphasizes in her book, Teaching to Transgress that “professors who are not concerned with inner well-being are the most threatened by the demand on the part of students for liberatory education, for pedagogical processes that will aid them in their own struggle for self-actualization” (Hooks, 1994 pp. 17). This type of practice would not be implementing #MindfulLearning whatsoever and students desperately need teachers to guide them in reaching their full potential whether the student is in their primary, secondary, or post-secondary education. 

I am a sibling of four. I have two sisters, Whitni who is ten years older than I am and Symone who is 15 months older than me. I also have a twin brother, Jacques who is four minutes younger than I am. Symone, Jacques and I went to the same school up until the time we went to junior high school (Jacques transferred to a different school). Since we moved to North Dallas, I always experienced an overwhelming and annoying amount of attention from my peers because there was three of us at one school. They treated us like triplets, and I really cannot say that I knew any other students who had more than one sibling attending the same school, so it was all eyes on us. I absolutely hated it, I used to tell people that I was adopted because I was always reminded someway somehow that I was not supposed to be here. For a while I conditioned myself to believe that I did not belong here, and I was not supposed to be here. My Mother found out she was having twins at her 7 month checkup and she always felt the need to remind how overly depressed she was when she found out about me.

 Anyways, I hated being compared to my sister when it came to playing sports and academics, and I hated being a twin to a boy on top of that. A lot of my female friendships were stemmed from them “having a crush on my brother” so I kept my distance from a lot of people because at an early age I could see through the bullsh*t. My mother being single and raising three young children alone did what she could to attend to each of us, but I personally feel like I have always received the bare minimum (even til this day) because I have always been seen as the low maintenance child. My Father at the time lived in Florida, but he would come down for holidays and take us back to West Dallas whenever he came into town. My siblings and I played a different sport each season of the school year and I was the child who did not have anyone come to my games to support me, so what did I do? I quit. 

I saw absolutely no point of continuing something I barely even enjoyed just for the sake of my athletic legacy with Mom being a Southern Methodist University Basketball Legend and a previous overseas Pro Basketball Player and my Father being a Football Legend at Vanderbilt University. It showed and proved to me that no one cared about me on top of always being mistreated in comparison to my siblings, I was tired of existing especially since I didn’t “belong here anyhow”. 

In middle school, I was insanely suicidal. I would intake numerous amounts of different pills that I could find around my house and take them just so I could “go to sleep forever” and it never worked. One day I was in theater class, I had taken probably over fifteen different pills that day and I was so groggy, I could barely keep my head up. My theater instructor, Mrs. Harper knew something was not right with me. I do not know how, but thinking back, she was so #Mindful of my wellbeing I believe she noticed my energy and spirit depreciating as we got through the school year. I used to sit right in front of her with all smiles and I ended up moving myself to the very back of the class and kept my head smack down on the desk. She asked me over and over what was wrong with me, and I just continued telling her day by day that I was tired. One day, I think she had enough of my excuses and my behavior. Mrs. Harper took me to the bathroom and made me throw up. We both looked at what was left of what I swallowed that actually came back up and she just held me and cried with me. I told her everything I was feeling and experiencing, and I begged her not to tell my mom or send me to the office or hospital. She kept her promise, but every day moving froward she kept me on a leash. She watched over me, she took care of me, she made me eat lunch with her every day and made me fall in love with the TV Show I Love Lucy. She trusted me but also held me accountable for my previous actions. She asked me every single day “did you take something today?” and I would tell her the truth, that I did not. She would give me this death stare like you better not be lying to me little girl, and we would always laugh afterwards, but I know deep down she knew I was being honest. She supported anything and everything I wanted to do. She is one the main reasons I am still here today, and I will forever be indebted to her. 

Thank you, Mrs. Harper. Thank you for taking the time to be #Mindful of me as a young, confused, and desperate little girl. Thank you for #Learning how to deal with me and teaching me how to cope with my problems when you had so much going on your damn self. You truly saved me.

Source: 

Hooks, B. (1994). Teaching to transgress: Education as the practice of freedom. New York: Routledge.

That is how the World Works- Bo Burnham

Ooooh Friere. I actually quite enjoy him and his thoughts on the pedagogy of the oppressed. However I also think about HOW writing a blog about pedagogy or even discussing it in a graduate level class truly engages with his pedagogy. The mantra of the oppressors needing to drop status of oppressing to run alongside the oppressed, to learn from the oppressed, and love the oppressed. Loving the oppressed can only come from the true giving up of "freedom" that oppressors hold (oppressors call it freedom, when it should really be called exploitation). 

As always, my favorite white man Bo Burnham, has some lyrics that humorize the situation in a way that I feel is appropriate for a blog:

"The simple narrative taught in every history class
Is demonstrably false and pedagogically classist
Don't you know? The world is built with blood!
And genocide! And exploitation!
The global network of capital essentially functions
To separate the worker from the means of production
And the FBI killed Martin Luther King"

There is lots more than what I will share, but as I suss out what an #EducatedWorldmaking approach is in praxis, I covet popular culture as method of sharing, learning, and understanding. What am I getting at here, in this long winded rant? It is EASY for any person to discuss the obvious horrors oppressed people face, and easy to point out 1. our genocidal and imperialist history and 2. the cycle of complacency that capitalism keeps many in. The telos of utilizing a world making lens is that oppressed groups, cultural and racial minorities, gender and sexuality minorities and the many marginalized groups that exist in this world, will be perceived as valid as dominant groups of people. This perception means that people can live as themselves freely without being oppressed by another group. 

So how do we actually do this? How does an oppressor tangibly give up every aspect that oppresses (how does one choose a job in capitalism without some aspect of oppression, or go to college?) and run alongside the oppressed? 

My answer is I don't know what the end game is or how oppressors completely shed off oppressive systems. I feel conflicted as an academic, academia is oppressive, is the answer to refuse to engage in academia? There can't possibly be a true right answer. 

Like Friere, I believe in the freedom of intellect. I believe in the freedom of education. I believe that education cannot have an agenda to cover up or paint events or people in false lighting. So how can I, as an aspiring educator, remove barriers to oppressed groups I may encounter? Here is my running list:

1. teach multiple perspectives. allow for disagreement and for people to hold thoughts different from my own. 

2.  challenge dominant modes of thinking. push into the uncomfortableness. my first week of class a student asserted that their pronouns were "regular." and I went into my shell of discomfort. I knew I couldn't allow for this situation to make myself and others feel that pronouns and identity were not salient so I took the time next class to explain how pronoun self identification is important in affirming everyone present. don't allow "common" modes of thinking to dominate, push back with kindness and empathy.

3. make education available for everyone. teaching doesn't end in the classroom, it can happen in my extended family's living room, or on social media, or at the bar. education is oppressive only when it is exclusive, it doesn't matter who it is, if they want to learn, take the time to teach them.

Bo Burnham does what any person of privilege can do, he can acknowledge the situation. However, much like Bo, those with privilege aren't in any rush to run the race with the oppressed. I believe that education is our best avenue at reaching the privileged who aren't in a rush, or the privileged who aren't aware. Transformation can only come through engaged and active learning, and while I strive to run the race alongside the oppressed I also believe that making education accessible to anyone is a way I can enact world making throughout my daily life.

Freire, Paulo, 1921-1997. Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York :Continuum, 2000.

Burnham, Bo. "That is how the world works." Inside(The Songs), 202, Track 4, Spotify,

My Questions aren't dumb and yours are not too!!

 I will never forget an experience I encountered during my Junior year of undergraduate studies. I asked an important and valid question that tied into the lesson and the overall subject. The course was International Global Studies and the subject of the week was discussing colonialization. I asked my professor the following question, "Dr. X (I will not disclose her name due to protecting her identity), I  understand that Christopher Columbus followed orders from the King and Queen of Spain but, how and WHY did he think it was okay to dehumanize people (slaves) in the process?!!" She then said, "Cynthia, I am sick of your stupid questions!!" I truly felt defeated not only as a human but, also as a student. I was raised to ask questions because that is how you learn! I could not believe she told me that she was not going to answer my question which in my eyes, was a totally appropriate question. I was born under the title of  being oppressed. Therefore, the older I have gotten, the more I have wanted to know about myself, my culture and to understand how the world works. Which is why I am on the conquest of the truth. I majored in Hispanic Studies and minored in International Global Studies and Business Foundations in undergrad to discover the truth. 

Fast forwarding to now, I am a graduate student who is now a Teaching Assistant at the University of North Texas. I now have the power to #disversifyit and invite deeply interesting questions in the classroom. I can now allow students to talk to me while I talk back to them and not at them. I will never allow a student to feel how I felt in IGS. I felt like she truly shut me down and was not inviting a person of color to ask such an important question. She was a Caucasian woman and I felt like the question that I asked triggered her in some sort of way.  I am not sure if she felt as if I was attacking her or what but, she did leave me feeling dumbfounded. I do NOT understand why she talked at me!!! Even if she did not have an answer for me, she could have angled her answer in a different manor.

 As professors, it is IMPORTANT to treat all students, including students of color as students!!! Students that are eager to learn and to seek their own truth through their studies. That is how we make the classroom more powerful for ALL students especially students who are marginalized. By inviting students to ask ANY question that ties into the course, we validate their voice. This was influenced to me by reading, "Treat me like a person, rather than another number" written by Faulkner et al.

It is important to do so because throughout history, it has been shown that any person of color that tried to educate themselves was a person who wanted to be better than a Caucasian student or wanted to be radical. Which was never the case. 

We as students desire our teachers to make us feel validated through our intelligence no matter our skin color. I always incorporate every student's knowledge and questions. This is how I personally #diversifyit. I allow their voices to be heard!!! That is the power sharing of being a teacher. They matter to me and are very much so important to me. If the rest of the world wants to invalidate them, in my classroom they will not have that feeling. THEY MATTER AND I WILL CELEBRATE THEIR DIVERSE BACKGROUNDS!!! By doing that, I am making sure that they are HEARD because we as educators SHOULD INVITE questions to be asked. WE SHOULD VIEW STUDENTS WITH THE INTELLIGENCE THAT THEY BRING TO THE TABLE, NOT THEIR SKIN COLOR!!!!!! We should NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY ANY QUESTION THAT IS ASKED!!! ESPECIALLY AT THE COLLIGATE LEVEL WHERE LEARNING IS PAID BY THE STUDENT!!! Not only the financial aspect of it but also this is a level where students can learn NEW material. The government has control over K-12 material whereas at the collegiate level there is minimal to no control. This is the first time in a student's life where they can truly learn and ask questions in their academic journey. I refuse to shut them down and absolutely pledge to make ALL of my students feel validated and empowered through their academic journey. 

2020 Has My Heart

 

Today I was presented with the opportunity to engage in a moment of #MindfulLearning with a student of mine and I could not be more honored at the fact that she chose to be vulnerable with me in that moment when she absolutely did not have too. Each week I present my students with a question to answer at the beginning of class to implement how important it is to always introduce yourself whenever you are requested to speak and to also build connections with your classroom through these communication rapport strategies. As we approached the last student to answer the posed question, another student of mine pointed out how I missed someone. I have no idea how I missed her, but I did. I apologized and asked her to stand up to answer the question, but she declined. Although she had her mask on, I noticed her complexation to be flushed as if she were crying or holding back her tears, and it also looked like she could barely open her eyes because they were swollen most likely from crying.

 I paused the class for moment because I could not divert my attention away from how sad I knew she was, so I asked her to step outside with me. Once we were outside, I asked her if she was feeling okay and right in that moment, she divulged a lot of personal, sensitive information about her mental state of mind while crying her eyes out. It broke my heart to hear that she is having such a tough time in her personal life and knowing how I desperately struggle with my own mental health, I needed to reassure her that she was not alone and that sometimes it is okay to not be okay. I told her that if she needed to, she could excuse herself from the remainder of the recitation because our class consists of a lot of group activities therefore it would require her to be socially present and that was probably the last thing she felt comfortable doing. The empath in me just wanted to hug and rock her, and try to take all of her problems away, but I also wanted to be #Mindful in the fact that she may not be comfortable with affection especially from someone she does not know that well. I did not want to overstep any boundaries with her as my student, but I did want to let her know that she has my heart and full support in this stage of life she is in and that we may very well all be in, so I made sure to check up on her via email after class to remind her that I am her to help. 

Even though that vulnerable moment with my student made me sad, I did notice how vulnerable, understanding, and empathic my class as whole was being today and it made me feel amazing to be the one to bring these practices out of them unintentionally. The question I posed to my students was “What is something that someone could do today on national do something nice day, that would make you extremely happy?” Each of my students gave a range of answers but I had about a handful of students whose answers were very personal to how they may have been feeling today. Some of these answer included: If you could just smile at me, “if you could tell me I’m doing just fine” and one of my favorites “If I could get a hug, that would make me really happy.” Two of my students got up and gave her the most beautiful hugs I have ever witnessed. They truly embraced each other and exchanged good energy with one another. They literally hugged for over five seconds, and I wanted to shed a tear because the exchange was so pure and genuine. 

I had to let my students know that they are truly amazing individuals to get to know, learn, and grow with. How could I have gotten so lucky to have such thoughtful students attending to the emotional needs of their peers in only seven weeks of interacting with each other? Then on top of that, how ironic is it that in this week’s pedagogy discussion highlighting The Courage to Teach by Parker Palmer (1998/2007) he encourages us a teacher’s to be vulnerable with our students and I end up having an entire day reflecting his practices. To be vulnerable is to be #Mindful of not only our own thoughts and feelings but also the people around us, like my students. Palmer says and I quote “as we try to connect ourselves and our subjects with our students, we make ourselves, as well as our subjects, vulnerable to indifference, judgment, and ridicule” (pp. 18). Today I was the student, and my students were the teachers. I #Learned how emotionally intelligent and connected they are and how receptive they are to my authenticity and the “heart” I have for each of them, even my student that shows up thirty minutes late weekly. You would have thought that I have been teaching them #MindfulLearning this entire time when in all actuality they have been teaching me.

Source:

Palmer, P. J. (1998/2007). The courage to teach: Exploring the inner landscape of a teacher’s life. San Francisco: Wiley & Sons.

Appearance: Adherence, Interference, and Perseverance

#Rellevent

Appearance: 

Adherence, Interference, and Perseverance

How do I look today? Am I polished? Do I need makeup? Are my curves too obvious? Do I look like a box?

I’ll be fine.

My partner got complimented today. I thought it was directed towards me, so I said thank you too. He always gets complimented on his “snazzy” shirts. Maybe I didn’t put in enough effort today.

I’ll try again tomorrow.

On average, I spend about an hour every day just on my appearance. 

I am almost never satisfied, even after that.

Are my experiences #Rellevent?

The pressure of looking “polished” and “professional” is not easy for anyone. For women, it can be one of the biggest pressures in the professional world to keep up appearances. 

In the classroom, I have struggled with the pressures of being a student and looking like a teacher each time I have gone to recitation. 

In order to protect my legitimacy, I feel that I need to dress-to-impress each time I am seen on campus. As a student, I crave the ability to dress casually, and I am envious of the relaxed fashion of the students in the crowd before me. Above all else, however, I crave respect and acknowledgment, and in doing so, I increase the distance between the student body and myself- further implementing a power dynamic in the classroom, separating my students and myself. 

Dress-to-impress

Can appearance do THAT much to affect that power stance? If we are trying to balance the power dynamic between the students and the teacher in an inclusive classroom environment, why is the power of how you dress still placed in such a high priority?  

As a woman, it can be that much more important to keep our “face” in public. Especially in academia. We walk a thin line of being considered a “bitch” or a “pushover”. Both lenses can be detrimental to a woman’s public image, particularly in terms of student perspectives. A study in 2017 by Guarino & Borden found that on average, “women faculty perform significantly more service than men, controlling for rank, race/ethnicity, and field or department.” (672). A further study in 2018 by El-Alayli, Hansen-Brown, & Ceynar found that “students… had stronger expectations that a female (versus male) professor would grant their special favor requests.” (136), which increases the likelihood of burn-out by this extra burden laid upon female professors. 

The two of these studies highlight just two ways in which female professors struggle to maintain face in academia, simply because they are women. I emphasize the impact of dress on these narratives. 

If you look the part, you are more likely to be respected and seen as legitimate.

If you do not look the part, who are you to tell me what is important to know? 

Dress-to-digress

What power does dress have over each of us? 

Do we struggle to look the part because we are struggling with an internal fear that we are not enough?

How does the way appearance impact the way we feel?

Do we have to dress a certain way to feel legitimate in an academic space?

Why does dress have power over the power dynamic in the classroom? 

Who gives it that power? 

How can we navigate the lines of dressing as a student vs. dressing as an instructor?

Do these lines allocate rules which we must follow to maintain a sense of legitimacy?

Can we use dress to break down classroom norms and make appearance #Rellevent?

Disclaimer: The information shared/provided for the hashtag #Rellevent, is not intended to be ONLY for women. It is to help break down boundaries which are held in place that many women have to deal with, but this is not strictly ONLY women dealing with these issues. Men, nonbinary individuals, and people of various identities struggle with these issues on a daily basis and I encourage informed experiential-learning across gender lines. It is not only for women to understand and acknowledge why she is #Rellevent. We are all, individually and as a whole, #Rellevent.

Sources:

Guarino, C. & Borden, V. (2017). Faculty service loads and gender: Are women taking care of the academic family? Res High Educ 58, 672–694 (2017). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11162-017-9454-2 

El-Alayli, A., Hansen-Brown, A.A. & Ceynar, M. Dancing Backwards in High Heels: Female Professors Experience More Work Demands and Special Favor Requests, Particularly from Academically Entitled Students. Sex Roles 79, 136–150 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-017-0872-6 

Freire, P. (1970/2000). Pedagogy of the oppressed: 30th Anniversary Edition. Continuum.