What's With Fish (Week)

People told me October is usually hard and I don't necessarily feel like it is, but with that said I also have an exception to that statement- Fish week was absolutely exhausting. I was completely thrown off by certain things that happened over the course of the week which is weird for me to type out since there wasn't really anything specific that was off while I was teaching, and Monday was pretty much normal. Tuesday afternoon was the turning point and what I would actually say was a crash point, a point at which I had to deal with something involving a student that I wasn't completely prepared for, and I found myself concerned with that moment for the rest of the week.

I can boil the week down to a simple phrase: it was taxing. 

This last week was definitely one where I felt more like chicken little than mother hen, and it wasn't because of a lack planning (on the teaching side) or willingness to engage (as a student). I think the feeling came from trying to navigate how to move forward after an emotional interaction with my student because I kept finding myself thinking about how to help them at times when I wasn't in teacher mode or student mode. I often found myself worrying about the situation at times that seemed unnecessary especially since it wasn't an issue involving concerns for safety. 

Reading this someone might think "how does any of this relate to Fish?" In many ways that particular situation had no relation to Fish at all, but for whatever reason this situation had me thinking about certain aspects of Fish's pedagogy and some of his examples all week and I felt the need to do better. What do I mean by this? I mean I've recognized more so during the last week how getting to know students can be helpful when trying to help them through something they struggle with whereas Fish's examples seemed to put unnecessary pressure on instructor-student relationships. I looked at the example where Fish talks about throwing the book to get the point across and immediately thought that the example seemed too aggressive and also is not how to help someone who is struggling. Was the situation with my student different? 100% but I knew that my best bet was to adapt to the needs of my student instead of engaging in conversation that made them feel unheard or like they couldn't bring up concerns.

Fish's pedagogy includes a teach to test mentality, but there are some things that people can face as instructors that have nothing to do with the material the class is about. Fish would argue it's not the job of the instructor to teach those lessons, but personally I would disagree. I can name professors that I had during my undergraduate classes who have helped me understand how to be a productive learner or offered solutions when I felt uneasy about something, but if they had embraced the pedagogy that Fish suggests I'm not sure they would have made an impact. Those professors that did make an impact were able to help me piece together my thoughts in a way that was conducive to my learning which I'm grateful for. More than that, I would argue those experiences have given me insight for how to approach problems dealing with certain topics that I'm beginning to see more often.

As a student, a teacher, and in general as a person learning is taking place. I can recognize there are moments where I feel unprepared for whatever type of learning I have to adjust to, and even more where I feel prepared. The experiences I've had over the last week may have been exhausting however my hope is that moving forward I'm better prepared to deal with things that are unexpected, emotional, and significant. I can't say I'll embrace Fish's pedagogy to do this, but I can say I'm aware of it. My goal moving forward is to try to find a way to reframe the idea that the sky is falling as something to work out and work on.