As the weeks go by, though, I have been feeling a bit more confident after receiving a few grades back. Maybe I do belong here. I must be doing something right. Although I did get 1 B, I feel like I can work harder and do better. I can get things done!
This goes along with the classes I teach as well. In the beginning I didn't think that I would do great, but as of right now I think I have done as much as I could to help my students out (at least the ones who are motivated to do good). I always have so much to grade since everyone does their assignments, 90 times how many essays??!! I think I am finally catching up y'all! I will be doing a lot of that tonight for sure so that I don't have things piling up. Luckily, a lot of students were absent during essays #HoustonWeHaveAProblem (Not good for them, but good for me), so that helped speed up the grading process, yay! My point is, I am finally feeling like I am in a good position. The only thing that might have me stressing a little is my adaptation performance. Hopefully by forcing myself to use Fish's ideas, I can focus on just getting that assignment done and moving on. I probably won't retain any info after the class is done (#DebbieDowner) but at least I will learn it for the time being. I can be on the Banking model temporarily, can't I?
Just 7 more weeks of school right? I can do this. I am doing great and the finish line is almost in sight. If I just keep motivated and get my shit done, no one can stop me. I got this!
Mari, don't you ever for one second doubt yourself! You are one of the smartest people I know and you always go out of your way to help other people. You absolutely belong here! I definitely understand what you're feeling when you talk about feeling more confident as time goes on. When we first started, I was concerned that it would be too much to handle between teaching and being a student, and that my grades would suffer because of it. But, being halfway through the semester and having gotten some feedback, I feel so much better! Also, I definitely hear you when you say that your performance is a source of stress right now because SAME (#houstonwehaveaproblem am I right or am I right?). Anyways, you're doing great Mari! You're always so motivated and top of things that you make others around you want to do the same! Keep doing what you're doing, and you 100% got this! #keeponkeepinon
ReplyDeleteMari,
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but to feel as though you were thinking of me when writing this post. I feel as though my nonverbal communication is very obvious in classes and I seem to always lock eyes with you when this happens...no other person I'd rather show I am confused than you! :)
I found it ironic that you are feeling a little better about your classes given the date. I still remember at the beginning of the semester when the 3rd and 4th semester graduate students would say, "You think you're stressed now? Oh, just wait until October!" Yet, here you are, feeling more confident than ever. Way to break the cycle, Mari!
I also wanted to take a moment to celebrate you and the kind of student you are. You're one of the hardest workers in our cohort, you pour your heart into your students, and you're doing while raising a toddler.
In order to perform well, you need to be inspired. You're an inspiration to all of us, which is exactly what the rest of us need right now.
#Pedagoalie
Mari,
ReplyDeleteI love how positive your outlook is for the remainder of the semester, and I'm even more glad to hear your Impostor Syndrome is starting to ease up.
Please feel free to reach out (especially to vetted TA's) if you have feel overwhelmed or have questions. We are here to help the best we can. Remember, #dontpanic, and take care of your mental health!
Your brain is a muscle just like your biceps and quads. After a strenuous workout, people tend to give those muscles a break. Why do we never do this with our brain? Meditation has helped me immensely this semester. I even have some app suggestions if you're interested. :)
Keep powering through the semester being the most kick-ass, graduate degree earning - momma-bear this world has ever seen. Remember, relax your brain, #keeponkeepinon, and #dontpanic
Aw, I LOVE you guys! You are the sweetest bunch <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteMari!
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone in your feelings at all. In fact, I feel exactly the same as you do.
Grad school is a learning process, in every single aspect. I think it's completely normal to feel confused during classes as well. I know that I sure am! Also, I struggle with thoughts if I belong and I think everything happens for a reason...we're all supposed to be here.
You're motivation is definitely inspiring and I can honestly say that I have you in 2/3 of my classes! You are seriously such a delight and we all love Nathan so much. The fact that you can raise a toddler, be a teacher, AND a student is mind blowing. I have so much respect and admiration for you!
I think if we all push through and support each other, we can make it through anything. Love you, Mari!