The Best Intentions . . .

Each fall as I finish the semester, I have this intention to continue to post about teaching on our pedagogy blog. I envision inviting former pedagogy students to contribute and discuss how their teaching has changed, but someone these best intentions to share by reflexivity and praxis get pushed to the side for other endeavors. Suddenly, it is summer-- we head off on vacation (see my grading view right after finals in May below).

Life is about my Littles; teaching my summer class; and preparing a new online course for spring 2018. Today I needed a break from grading and course production so what do I do begin to work on my prep for my Pedagogy & Communication course. My happy place where I get to think about teaching and the joy I get from helping new teachers find their voice and identity in the classroom. I get to look at new readings about pedagogy and see if I can add something new to a class that I have already taught 11 times before.

As I prepare for my 12th year of teach pedagogy I know that I'm blessed to have a job where I can be fulfilled through mentoring others. As one of my former advisees would put it,  I am a servant leader in and out of the classroom-- and that brings me joy!

So what does this fall have in store for my new pedagogy cohort . . . my classic pedagogy readings of Dewey, Freire, hooks, Fish, Palmer, and Fassett & Warren, will be joined with some new readings on online and blended teaching and some updated research on Communication Education and Instructional Communication . . .

COMM TAs Fall 2014 

And I hope I can actualize my best intuitions and get some of my former pedagogy students to help us continue our conversation about the importance of engaging in a thoughtful and reflexive pedagogy. I'd love to hear from you if you are interested in adding your voice to our conversation.

Some of our Award Winning TAs in 2008! 

Institutionalized, I keep running back for a visit. #Universe #City - the Wr@p Up

Pic of me describing day 1 vs end of semester

Throughout this semester, I've had the privilege to bless this blog with some of my thoughts and (very) well formed opinions. Themes and topics have included: race, gender, debate, and always have to do with teaching. Let's take a look back at some highlights.

I began my journey on blogging, teaching, and coaching at the beginning of the semester. Much has changed since August/September of this year, and a plethora of educational experiences have transformed me from a bright eyed first semester grad student, to the hardened veteran you see before you now. If there's one thing I've maintained throughout this course, it is my belief that education should have a sustained influence on the way that students think, act or feel. Ken Bain's "What the Best College Teachers Do" was an excellent introduction to pedagogy and has framed how I view education and teaching for the rest of my life. My first blogpost included a discussion of debate and how a point of stasis is essential to debate and dialogue.

Paulo Freire's "Pedagogy of the Oppressed" expands on the idea of dialogue, and concludes it is an essential part of communication and education. Sprague acknowledges this in her work as well, as both of them argue that the educator and student are co-creators of dialogue that construct and de construct their realities. I learned that every student has something to contribute in the classroom, and combining this idea of a point of stasis with dialogue can create the type of transformative educational experience that Bain was describing. Freire's ideas of dialogue coincide with my coaching job because debate is not only a space for competition, but also education and dialogue. Incorporating debate into the classroom can increase student engagement, and thus the likelihood that they absorb the course content.

Some of my blogposts have been more critical of the authors we've read, and not as appreciative. Stanley Fish is one of those authors."Save the World on Your Own Time" is a text that advances a pedagogical practice that is not accessible to minority populations and reduces the role of educators in society. I've come to agree with Dewey when I think about the role of educational institutions in society. They should prepare students to fix the world's problems and create better democratic participants. This would be incompatible with Fish's model of education since conflicting evidence for global warming would posit the climate change discussion as 'political.'

Palmer establishes that teaching is 'heartwork' and should be infused with an ethic of love. I discuss this extensively in my third blogpost concerning the misunderstood student from hell. It is essential that students are convinced that they are capable of contributing to the discipline and classroom discussion. A quote that has stuck out to me from class is that "Discourse does not reflect reality, it creates reality.' After my brain exploded and was pieced back together, I understood the power of language and communication. I understood that many students have not felt that love in the classroom, and until I came to grad school, I do not think that I have either. Turning the bored, passive student into an engaged one isn't easy. But as educators it is important that we do not overlook our shortcomings and allow that student to erode our confidence in teaching. Understanding how power structures affect students of color, for example, in a classroom that has always been white-centered, can produce a better understanding of the student, allowing the teacher to adjust their teaching if necessary.

People of color and whiteness in the classroom has been a consistent theme throughout every blog post. Women of color in particular, has been education's biggest failure. hooks explores that more thoroughly in "Teaching to Transgress," an enjoyable read that discusses how black women have been silenced in the classroom. Critical communication pedagogy can be a mechanism for helping those students find their academic voice, and that academic voice can extend beyond the classroom and create advocates for communities of people.

During the winter break, I have a lot of reflection to do. With the stress of school and finals over (momentarily), the idea of breathing and looking back on what I've learned and how to apply it to myself will prove just as valuable as learning the content in the classroom. I've met some of the smartest people I will ever meet in my life, but as critical and thoughtful as they can be, their lack of self awareness and inability to reflect have hampered their potential. Love, criticism, deconstructing whiteness and debate all combine to form my educational practices, and I see myself returning to many of the blogposts that my colleagues and I have written, in future semesters.

well bye~

What’s up, fellow teens! It’s time for a spoooooOOOooOOoooky Halloween season wrap up post!  I didn’t get to do anything on Halloween because of school so I’m gonna make up for it here!

The semester is winding down, and soon the decompression/reflection process can start in earnest. I was thinking maybe it could start this week, but no such luck - Dr. Treat was asking me recently how the semester was going, and I wasn’t able to think of anything substantive. I’m fried, gang!

This semester I had planned to speak about authenticity, but found it difficult when I realized I have more of a problem speaking inauthentically. I ended up focusing on reaffirmation - how the stress of the semester made me question why I was here - turns out that was the wrong question to ask! I know why I’m here - I want to be here. All I needed to do was think about my two years out of school and how dead I felt on the regular to figure that out. The real question was how to I continue the re-membering process - re-membering how i felt as a student so I could empathize as a teacher, re-membering the sublime feeling of a good performance or speech or class discussion (and how much work is necessary to achieve that feeling), re-membering how people can always surprise you with generosity and kindness when it so often seems that everyone is out to screw each other over.

I’d like to thank hooks for her words on respecting pain, fish for being my whipping boy, fassett & warren for writing that melts my brain, and just the most kind, generous, funny group of fellow TAs I could ask for.

It’s been a toughy! Wow, what a tough one, huh?! Kind of a haunted one! Still have some more work to do before things are done, I’ll do better next semester. Got a whole list of tips and tricks under my sleeve (and written down in google drive) now. Nap time’s on the 19th, and I plan to be ready.

Welp, that's a WRAP (HAHAHA #HELPme)

This is my last post for the semester, and WOW, can you believe we made it? Well, you shouldn't, because we haven't made it yet! I'm stressed to my eyeballs, so let's see where this goes. Honestly, I'm glad this semester is over! Like Amanda already mentioned, I was told the first semester was the hardest. Boy, the system lied to me. Aside from a stressful workload from classes I taught and took, I collected data across our department to see how much we were actually working. SPOILER ALERT: It's a lot! Anywho, I just want to girl up in the fetal position with a bottle of bourbon. Instead, I'm going to recap a few of my posts, and tell you where I am in life. 

My first post was related to Palmer's idea of "teaching who you are." I wanted to relate how badly things were going with my students in a few classes based on my own identity. They just didn't like me, so I questioned if teaching who I was actually helped the situation. My second post, tying to hooks, really showed a breakthrough with my student from Hell. The dialogue just wasn't there with my students, and I was stressing out over stuff that was pretty simple. Although that situation didn't turn out perfectly, at least I tried to exchange some sort of dialogue during the process.

My third post was, for once, optimistic because my media arts students got shine during the Peer Teach assignments. They made several creative videos, and I was just proud of them. Of course, I tied in critical pedagogy within the post because I felt activities associated with some form of media were pivotal to their learning. A few more of these ideas showed up in my next post with Cotton the Clown. I talked about the power of dialogue in the classroom, and tied in Bell and Golobisky's penny exercise as a use of policing conversation. Of course, I talked about jokes because I'm funny (right? RIGHT?). 

Finally, my last post was split into two sections on teaching hegemony within my classroom. The first post related hooks and empowerment while I was trying to prep for the class. I was a bit nervous about the results because I always am. The second post was more of a post instruction highlight, and related agency within my activity of the privilege walk. I thought it was pretty creative. Funny and clever? How am I single? 

Speaking of relationships, I feel like I've grown as an instructor (not so much as a student). I dealt with a lot this semester, and my students did as well. I think that last sentence kind of sums up how my teaching journey went this semester. I was putting myself first and constantly thinking, "You're so unlucky and alone" without thinking about what my students might be going through. I honestly forgot what I did correctly my first semester, and it showed. Once again, I'm glad this semester is over, but I am also grateful for these experiences. I have to lift myself up and realize next semester will be better. If not, I'll ask the same question every idiot in a movie asks: What's the worst that can happen? On a final note, I appreciate all of your posts, and I love all you honey bunches of oats.

First down...hut hut

After surviving the first semester of grad school, I'd like to say something energizing and exciting, but all my knee jerk reaction is saying is AMEN.  We survived, and I could not have done it without my incredible support system and team.  Thank you all!

I know this "game" of grad school and teaching can be exhausting, because lets be real, my brain has been working out!  So many words and so much work, but through it all, I can still say, I am in it to win it.

I have learned so much throughout the semester and I am excited to take these experiences with me.  In my own classes I learned that I am capable of more than I imagined, and in my teachings I learned how to be ME.

I have learned to be myself in the classroom and be confident in my imperfect self - through this I have grown to be confident with my experience (or lack thereof); most importantly, I learned to be happier with myself!  I also learned, so what if I have a heart, and yes maybe I wear it on my sleeve; Palmer would agree with me, teaching with authenticity is the only true way to teach!

Lastly, I learned to speak up and bring real world problems into my classroom, because my classroom is an example of the just that!  Fassett and Warren (2007) stated “the world of the classroom is not a false world, but rather a microcosm of all the worlds we know, intersecting and interlocking in metonymic relationship to one another” (p. 62).

Yes, I made reference to football in this blog, but all puns aside, our classroom is not a game of life, it is life! (#ballislife. Sorry I had to, hah).  All seriousness, as teachers we are influencing lives in our classroom and my hope is that I can help students recognize their impacts on real world, then take the lessons learned and apply it into their daily lives.

Enjoy your time out and recharge time people, because we have work to do when we get back!

#heartwork

All #thefeels

I started the blog post assignment a bit late in the game, because honestly acknowledging this good girl’s fears, failures, insecurities and even successes was scary. Having to write them down for the world to see was TERRIFYING. So, I put it off as long as I could. 

The common themes of fear and uncertainty appear throughout my posts. With each reading, class discussion, and subsequent blog post my doubt lessened. I went from worried about being questioned, rejected, and read as an underqualified teacher to uncertain how to best teach from my experiences. My worries have grown to be more complex, while at the same time easing many of the worries that made teaching scary in the beginning.

I chose #thefeels as my hashtag to represent my goal of being in tune with the emotions of my students and to show empathy. However, my hashtag has evolved to symbolize much more. #thefeels represents being in touch with my own feelings. #thefeels means entering the classroom wholly. #thefeels embodies being authentic, not diagnosing my students, a willingness to be vulnerable, not dismissing opposing ideals, and to be present.

Through Palmer I became more accepting and understanding of my student from hell. hooks empowered me to entering the classroom wholly and to allow for vulnerability. Fassett and Warren reminded me everyone deserves a chance to be heard without judgement. Bell and Golombisky helped me realize my soft spot for good girls like myself. Each of the authors we read in one way or another influenced and will forever be apart my pedogeological foundations. Just as each of the discussions in class (and in the TA space) has shaped my pedagogy and changed my feelings of uncertainty to feelings of curiosity. I am curious to see what the future holds, what ways my pedagogy serves me in the classroom, and what ways I grow as an instructor. #thefeels

Wrap It Up #punintended #sorryforbeinginappropriate

Here is my final grad school meme for the blog.  Overall I'd say this blog was very helpful in relieving stress, sharing ideas, listening to my colleagues stories, and also getting to know y'all better.  Gross warning: I am appreciative of all the time and effort y'all have given and I really value the posts and comments. Now let's talk about this past semester... This one has been a hard one.  I was told that last semester (Spring 2016) was supposed to be my hardest semester because I took the three most extensive classes.  That was a funny joke because thus far, this semester has been my hardest.  Between being on campus 7 days a week, adjusting to being a 3010 TA, and having an existential crisis about my fem crit paper (and life), I have definitely had the semester from hell.  I am thankful for the experiences however I am SO GLAD this semester is over.

In my first blog, I discussed the student from hell.  I shared my story about my student who was acting weird in class and eventually was banned from campus.  In retrospect this is something that will stick with me for a long time.  I did not think it would, however to this day (the last day of 1010 classes for me) I was still afraid and unsure if the student would show up again.  Overall, I am thankful for the safety of my students and myself, however I hope that an incident like that never happens again.  I tied in Palmer (2007) and his teachings to my experience which even applied in the final paper that's due in t-minus 14 minutes.

In my second blog, I focused my topic on fear within the classroom.  Again, my student from hell experience tied into what I was talking about but I also realize that I overcame my fear.  I talked about my fear of losing the safe space within my classroom because of my student from hell.  I am proud to say I overcame that.  I went into my final lectures (performance and language, culture, and power) with some anxiety about how the classroom dynamic would be.  My students put my fears to rest as we talked about some social issues and charged conversations with no interruptions, no hesitation, and best of all no fear of safety.

In my third blog, I talked about motivation.  Honestly this wrap-up post keeps getting more and more funny as I reflect on what I wrote and how I feel right now.  It's the end of the semester and my motivation is gone.  At this point I am getting my final grades and final paper stuff turned in and then crawling to the next thing that is due.  I talked about our trip to NCA and how refreshing it was.  When I look back at the semester I realize (just like last semester) that I needed to manage my time better.  I'll try again next semester.

In my fourth blog, I talked about my experience within my two 1010 classes when one class was on top of their group presentations and did an amazing job, and the other class did not "understand" the directions.  Overall the point of my blog that week was to highlight the differences within my classes and to remind myself (and others) that each class has different personalities so even though you might give both classes the same information, it is going to get interpreted differently.

In my fifth and final blog, I discussed race.  I focused on this topic because of the language, culture, and power lecture that was coming up.  Overall I am really happy with the way things went this semester compared to last semester.  I structured my performance lecture differently which ended up situating the conversation to flow into the language, culture, and power lesson.  I am definitely making mental notes of how I will carry these positive teaching moments into the next semester.

All in all, even though it took me a few weeks to get started on this blog, I am happy that this was an assignment.  It was a fun, creative way to synthesize the readings as we went along and then compare them to our own experiences.  It was also super beneficial to me to read what my peers wrote and learn from their experiences as well. WE ARE DONE:) (besides Eastside coming up on Tuesday)


#youdoyou