I thought I would just figure out my readings and place them whenever, but you literally have to sit and plan out each week's lesson and coordinate readings based on that lesson. How do you choose which readings you're going to use and which ones just don't make the cut? I think logically I knew syllabus making would take time but at the same time, every professor does it so how hard could it be?
I think I understand now why professors take the first day to really go over the syllabus, because that's probably the only time during the whole semester that most students will even look at it. So much work for no one to appreciate!! Obviously there are other reasons to go over the syllabus but that's not the point here. The point is that so many professors, especially in our department, work hard to create a perfect template for the semester and students never even think about it.
I chose to create a syllabus over a class that already has a bomb-ass syllabus, and it was not easy to come up with activities and projects that were as good as the ones for the actual class. I was happy with what I came up with for the most part, but I was also so worried that I wasn't going to bridge the lessons and the projects as well as I could have. I even went to the professor to see if she liked the ideas I had, but not even her support quelled me. I loved the class when I took it, and I wanted to create a syllabus that would make students love the class like I did. I think that's my problem in a lot of ways. I crave appreciated and affirmation that I'm doing well, and I don't want that to permeate my teaching style.
I think I'm learning to rely on myself to continue providing the affirmation I need to keep going. I can't worry about whether or not my students like me or my teaching, I can only care about if they're learning at all. This is something I am working on and will continue to work on! I know that I can learn to just be confident with myself and my pedagogical skills. If I can do it, #socanyou.
