Overstriver

I identify closely with the “overstriver” learning pattern we read about in Barkley. I am both repelled and attracted to challenges that I usually do ok on, but only after convincing myself of certain inadequacy. Fear of failure is a constant threat, and that fear- that-something-will-blow-up-in-my-face/passion-for-achievement manifests itself in a frenzy of activity, punctuated by my commute and naps. Who knows why I am wired like this; I do not really see the practicality or have the desire to dwell on past experiences #yourewelcome. As far as the program goes, there is still a little imposter syndrome, but it is WAY improved from last semester. If some of you newbies are feeling this way, it will pass; we have all been through this distraction from hell.

While life this semester is more settled, I still bite as much as I can possibly chew. I feel extremely lucky to have delicious opportunities like the TA position, because two years ago I moved frantically without any direction. Somehow, I wound up in a more-than-okay place, and the fear of not knowing what I will do with my life stepped down to make room for the fear that I’m not a credible source for adult learners. Being a teacher was a childhood aspiration, but from adolescence on, I felt less and less clever, less focused, less competent every year until I turned 25. I am amazed that grace held this life together. This is an attempt to be raw, not self-deprecating, and while encouragement and pep talks are reflections of love, these sentiments aren’t as transferable as we sometimes hope.

I am nervous now because teaching is something new, and like anything new we do, especially in the early parts of life, we are usually not so good at first #trysomethingnew. But after a couple years of not being so good at waiting tables, and then a couple years of not being so good at teaching yoga, and then not being so good at training yoga teachers, I am finally making peace with many of the symptoms of trial-and-error.

There is the trembling voice that most people do not detect. The few that do are compassionately familiar, completely apathetic, or if they think less of you- the WORST, so who cares. There is the annoying racing heart and the shaky breaths that struggle to bring balance back to the system. The likes, the ums, the racing, "what the f did I write down!?"… "Why am I here?"… "I would have seen this coming, if I was the person I'm pretending to be"… marque inside my head.

The ten, twenty times this happens to us, we have no choice but to accept these metal events as empiric truth. The more attention we pay to our inner dialog, and the more educated we become about physical symptoms of Communication Anxiety, the more patterns we recognize. Sometimes it takes hundreds even thousands of such dramas, but eventually fluctuations lose charge… become more benign. As we become more objective self-witnesses, these thoughts in times of challenge resemble samples of what might be--- data that we can respond to. #reflexivity  

In spite of the self-uncertainty, yogis believe that collective duty to respond never ends. We do our best to confine our duties to the present moment, in the beating of the heart, the shaking of the voice, the breath, or the words another is speaking. We put the oxygen mask on ourselves before assisting other passengers, which reminds me of a cool journey I went through this week sharing my improptu with fellow High CA students in mind.

A more humble approach to duty confines our influence to the mundane and the obvious--- lesson plans, staff meetings, student emails, class readings, lesson plans, a schedule, sources full of tools to share with my class, great faculty support… Amanda’s PowerPoints. Every moment is a new moment--- I am expressing initial impressions of teaching in this moment, and am very grateful.

I am proud to be among a community of brilliant and engaging peers, mentors, and friends #happyhappyjoyjoy. My students honor me far more than I have made room for complaint. I am tired. The workload is intense. I have no money in spite of this #HELPme, but I am okay. Life will change in ebbs and flows that this overstriver wishes to both seize and avoid. Confronting self-criticism with courage, authentic flexibility, a sense of humor, and PREPERATION is my current task, but like every task before, it will fade with time and make more and more room for duties that serve others more than my lame ego.

#pedayogi

Enthusiasm in Student Motivation & Active Learning

Week four of classes just ended and even though we all try to look like this:

We can't help but feel like this:


I'm TIRED, my students are tired, everyone is catching the plague, and I'm trying to find any reason, big or small, to continue being enthusiastic in my life and teaching.

When I read the word "enthusiasm" in this week's text, I was, well, enthusiastic. Maybe this is the sign that I needed? Maybe this will be the magic solution that I needed to keep up the enthusiasm with my students. It's a good idea, at least.

Barkley (2010) discussed student engagement as a combination of motivation and active learning. "Whether teachers think primarily of the motivational or active learning elements of student engagement, they are quick to point out that both are required" (p. 6). Well, guess what? Motivation takes enthusiasm! *insert jazz hands here* FINALLY, a reason to be excited. To me, enthusiasm is more than just encouraging, supporting, and smiling until your face hurts. It's a way of life, and I want to apply it to the classroom.

However, this part of the chapter discusses the idea enthusiasm isn't some secret recipe that allows students to automatically learn. It must be combined with the motivation and active learning. "Student engagement is a process and a product that is experienced on a continuum and results from the synergistic interaction between motivation and active learning" (p. 8). These components can't work alone and can help students transform into better learners. This is not easy though. How can we all accomplish a transformation?

For me, this means I need to make the content interesting to students and be excited about it. I need to be excited about what each student is doing and facilitate their enthusiasm as much as possible to help their motivation. This enthusiasm combines with several student engagement techniques from Barkley (2010) including expecting and helping students to succeed and celebrating the class as a community that can celebrate each student's achievements inside and outside of the classroom. I can use these.

After reading, I realized that all of this excitement is exceedingly important during stressful times within the semester. Keeping up the enthusiasm could potentially be the one component keeping students (and my) motivation and active learning in check to facilitate better student engagement.

I guess we will just have to wait to find out. But for now, the enthusiasm is back.
#happyhappyjoyjoy #enthusiasm

-Taylor

Barkley, E. F. (2010). Student engagement techniques. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass

Possession of learning

Being brand new to teaching, one could argue that I am always #tryingsomethingnew, but I believe that every person has their tendencies to do what comes naturally to them and I have set out to try the opposite this semester.  I learned very quickly that in order to not spend 5+ hours lesson planning (for one 50 min class), I should take full advantage of the resources that are available to me to use as my starting point.  With that in mind, I prepared my lecture on perception and self with a powerpoint presentation that was in blackbox and was ready to go for the following Monday.
I then did my reading for Pedagogy and decided that I needed to #trysomethingnew.  It was during the chapter about Facilitating Discussion that the original thought came to me and as I read through How to Make Lectures More Effective I became more convinced that my approach to Mondays lecture needed a revamp.  I know myself, and I know that I would not be happy standing at the front of the room going over a distinguished list of the different self concepts and different theories behind perception so I brainstormed. I wanted to apply the thoughts behind how to hold students attention as spoke about in McKeachie and  what I came up with involved calling another TA and bouncing ideas off her to try and work out how best to logistically perform the teaching exercise I had envisioned.
My idea was to break the classroom up in to their CLGs and let the students take possession of learning the material.  The concept was to have all of the different "self" words (i.e. self, self- concept, self- image, etc) up on the walls and then have their definitions scrambled and let each group match word with definition.  We then discussed the answers and debriefed the material.  I did a second slide for the different perception concepts (identity, stand point theory, socially produced selves, etc) and repeated the process.
My 8:00am class worked through the exercise just as I had envisioned, they were animately discussing definitions and bouncing ideas off of one another to come to their group conclusions.  We went through the process as listed above and I felt like the activity went pretty well.  I then used the same exercise in my 9:00am class and as a group project it failed.  During the first slide, the groups did not talk to each other AT ALL, I even said to them "You guys know this is a group exercise right?  Use each other."  Then when we went over the second slide the same thing happened and I said, "You guys are doing it again, you're supposed to be discussing."  Which was met with a, "We're reading." retort.  I was disheartened.  I originally thought that it failed all together because no one was talking in their groups or sharing their thoughts with their group members, but as I'm writing this, I realize that because they weren't talking in their groups does not necessarily mean that the exercise failed all together.  The students in my 9:00 just chose to take individual possession of the learning rather than possession as a group. This point is something to keep in mind for future #trysomethingnew approaches.
My goal was to teach the information in a new format that would hold my students attention and help them learn the material and I think that goal was met.   Each class took possession of their learning in a different way but that is not a bad thing, it was just different than I envisioned it.

Looking back . . . looking forward

This fall marks my 11th year mentoring TAs at the University of North Texas. I took the time to look back over my syllabus from my first year teaching my pedagogy and communication graduate seminar. I'm struck at how invested I was in a social science approach to pedagogy. The readings and assignments were centered in Instructional Communication with a dash of Communication Education . . .article after article on immediacy, clarity, and student misbehaviors. Looking back I see what was missing-- heart.

The heart of my pedagogy-- the element that helps me share my love of teaching with my TAs isn't the classroom management and practical recommendations for how to develop lectures or process experiential learning.  Instead the heart of my pedagogy is the answers to the why questions-- the big picture so what questions of teaching. What is the role of the teacher? What is my identity as an instructor? Why do I teach? Why do I love to learn? What epistemological commitments guide my teaching choices?

As I added more theoretical content to the course, my own pedagogy began to change. I found myself sharing more of my authentic self. My life experiences and my students' life experiences are suddenly the most important part of class discussions because these moments demonstrate praxis-- these conversations are truly theory in practices in our everyday communication encounters. As I continue on my journey of reflexivity I'm honored each fall to ask a new set of teacher/scholars to engage in their own development of their identies as teachers. I will challenge them to develop their own epistemological commitments-- to begin a journey of reflexivity and praxis. They will be sharing their journey with you this semester on our blog. Welcome and feel free to join our conversation.

-- Karen Anderson-Lain, Ph.D.